And for what is real or not

@Sir Harndes in what context... real life? Here?

Real life

Im just confused

@Sir Harndes is it a lady?

I just want to stop seeing things like a legit doomer, but this world ain't helping

@mcguyver123 nah

@Sir Harndes oh. Well that starts with you bud. Start with self improvement.

Seriously. Do that and you'll find others and vice versa who will help eachother out. Not in a coddling baby way, but confidence in fellow king kinda way

Mold your body, force your mind to ponder on the positives and the self improvement.


For example, when you see something negative in the world, instead of focusing on that like "that's awful, fugg" look at it like " what can I do to make that better". Do a small obtainable goal to fix that

Dont like trash on the street? You dont have to clean the street, clean your front step. Start there.

But you gotta put in the work

What about things out of our control? Well, I know, cant do nothing about it, but still bothers me a lot

Like what

Since the death of my grandfather and my cousin's suicide, things been bugging me out for good

This is still about being afraid of death isnt it?

Its focused around death right?

Yeah, unfortunatelly

I miss him a lot

Cant help myself

I'm not trying to insert myself in but one way I've coped with death is by leaning on and relying on those around me especially if they experienced and felt pain from the death. Dunno about your personal life or ability to talk with those around you, but I'd recommend starting with that. Bottling it up or talking about it even on discord isnt going to always give you the settling feeling you need from being around people who feel hurt in the same way. Talking about those feelings can really help the healing process

I try

People still can't understand my way of thinking

Except for some people in reddit, but thats it

Can I pop in?

not even my psychologist do

Sure

Because I have a hard time with relentless paranoia and other stuff

ok

> must be 2000 characters maximum in length

k

I'm not gonna lie ; I'm pretty big on trust issues.

I don't know how and I don't know why but I wound up obsessing over being prepared for the worst, and hoping for the best.

By way of prioritization, I skip the latter ( a lot ).

By highschool, I was convinced it was a lot easier to assume that WHATEVER the wordt case scenario in your head was, to assume that was the truth and to prepare for it.

It helped me sometimes - hurt me others - it still hurts me innalotta ways to this day, because I don't talk to people or make an effort to ( see : no one means what they say, no one is gonna come through, no one likes you anyway, everything you say is stupid. shut up. [ it's yelling at me, even now ] )

Sometimes it breaks down to math and consequence - there are things beyond your control.

In that case? I find you have to analyze and decide what course of action you CAN take, to keep yourself protected / sane.

There is always a way through something.

You just have to find it.

I can't remember if it was you or Jaru who I said this to - but if you seem to or feel like you have "" too much to deal with "", it helps to break it down into pieces.

Like Mac was saying ;

notice you have a negative outlook
consider those circumstances and what you can do to change them
when you next think on the dark side ( fuck, isn't it easy ), take steps or try to approach it differently, and take a different route


It's not easy ( FUCK DUDE - it is SO HARD. I have been ""the negative person"" my whole life, and when new shit comes up, I'm S T I L L convinced it'll be bad ). But taking small steps ; tackling your problems in chunks, will help.

Like Mac said ( again ), it's about elevating yourself, and finding people who help you do that.

I can't give you the blueprints TO it - I have no idea what pseudofailures in your life you can read out or turn in to positive reinforcement.

But it starts with sorting out the things you CAN do, in place of remembering the things you CAN'T.

Circumstance is a bitch.

Life makes sure you know.

But all you can do is pull yourself up, and carry the fuck on.

It's hard - the world is shit - everything is shit.

You can still clip a branch and carve it into art.

You can still exercise and make sure you live to see tomorrow.

You still CAN - even when you think you can't.

If you're drawing breath ; you have potential.

( I didn't mean to ramble - I don't mean to sound mean or harsh - but through all the shit I have been through and put myself through, the universal truth has been ;

**I** *got* **ME**.

And that's all any of us ( REALLY ) have

and while YOU may not feel important, or normal, or like you fit in, the only way to change your state, is to work and change *yourself*, til you're comfortable with the World you have created.

And that is never gonna be easy nor instant - I'm 28 and **still** have *too much* work to do.

But breaking down the parts of things that make me feel bad - changing what I can in and around that chunk - and then making the next chunk my bitch, too, has helped me build stairs to crawl out from where I was.

But my staircase and your staircase are separated - I can only tell you how to lay the blocks.

You have to make them.

thanks

sorry but i dunno what to say