I feel that. It's tough because it's easy to get cynical and nihilistic and calculating and that leads to one or two ultimate ""solutions""

but the fact is, we're all going to die anyway.

what **REAL** good, for yourself or others, can you do with the time you've been given?

once you crack that and find a raison d'etre (again), you will get on track

I know I can do a lot of goods things for people around me

Cant do any good for myself

Its not their fault why im sad

So no reason I would harm them

I'm not worried about them

I still have a tiny ember of hope and hapiness inside me, but I feel its fading out, very slowly

and again, all i can say is start small with little steps and achieve whatever you can with in reach - or just take pride in what you do and do it well or better

omce you get a sip of that success

you wil find more

I feel guilty of not managing to help myself, and its not the lack of trying

it's frustrating

i haven't moved an inch for a month in spite of taking 4 or 5 steps

Life has a unique way of beating you down like nothing else

like waves on beach glass, it wears you down

All I do is play on the computer, read some books, read a lot about politics, and (try) to help who's around me

Cant take much pride of things I do

but frankly, there's a lot more to beach glass than a regular piece of broken glass on the beach, the things that leave their marks on you shape you into who you are, and you can use them to your advantage. Having been through the shit makes you more resilient than most people. Stagnation can do the same, it showed me what I didnt want for myself. I will *never* allow myself to be in a place like that again, and in that way it forced me to grow.

Find things to do to take pride in my man

you're good at something you enjoy, and using that combination of factors you can get really fuken good at the thing you enjoy, and take pride in that

idk I picked up bushcraft because I want to be redi but it's honestly really fulfilling taking sticks and tying them into a shitty little shelter and camping out under it. Even cooking mundane shit, just because it's in the woods, I've been having a blast. It has absolutely no use to society, there is no need to tkae pride in it, but it makes me happy and I'm keeping after it. Same thing with rock climbing, but to an even greater extent. I never expected physical activity to help me so much psychologically but fuck me if it doesn't

It is useful

Survival, my king

Way more useful than sitting my ass and play games

I course useful things, but I absolutely don't take pride in it

Gosh I fucking hate myself for that

Sorry

I gotta go

Sleep easy, King

We're here

I mean

I'm gonna go have a smoke

but we're here 💜

Hi kings. I'm still alive just in a depression

People have been asking 👀

Have they ?

Maybe just Darkness - but someone had asked if you'd popped by at all

shit no really - I AM afk rofl

*birbs like a drone*

Awh darkness <3

But I pop in and out. Just little blah lately. Caught in a funk.