it was a med overdose, and the doctors just barely managed to keep me alive

I still take antidepressants.

it's okay, past is dead and buried for me

I had several suicide attempts, but I think I was too in love with my then-boyfriend (who ended up being a tad psycho himself) to do anything.

I see... sorry to hear that

my reasons for becoming obssessed with ending myself came out of bullying

I was beaten up daily, called worthless and so on

I had bullying too, but nothing that bad.

and eventually I began hating myself

I honestly think the worst of it may have been my parents. NOt because they physically abused me, but because of what they would say about me. The night of my first attempt I wrote a song about how I could hear them talking about how horrible I was.

Sorry you had to go through that.

it's okay... I'm sorry to hear about your parents

mine were always loving and good towards me, and I regret not being honest with them about what was going on in my life

Thankfully I don't live with them anymore. They tried, I'll give them that. But I'm too much to handle.

I used to just fake a smile, tell them that I was all fine and then spend all day alone

And my mom always called me the 'common denominator' whenever there would be bullying.

I've never said that sentence before. Feels weird.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeFoA9jCXho Cover of Taylor Swift song. Uses image of Taylor Swift, which looks copyrighted. I doubt they paid for it. Hypocritical?

This is from Bushell Media, the Faith Kids people.

sounds like terrible parenting... I can't even imagine how it must be like

I think it was just me. My brother and sister turned out a lot better.

I'm the oldest though.

I'm the oldest of my siblings too

my family is somewhat religious, but not a whole lot

My parents are pretty religious. I'm an atheist now. Was religious for the first 2 decades of my life.

I used to pray every night back in the day though... until around halfway of that hell

I don't believe in anything either, but I don't like using the word atheist

I was a satan worshipper for a short while

joining up with that lot was a huge mistake though

I realized that a bit too late

got traumatized for life, and my suicidal streak began

😦

I went suicidal over a boy.

Like, Im not saying 'oh my gosh, he didn't date me? I'm going to kill myself!' kind of suicidal.

I see... well, those emotions were still as real as can be

I'm over my past for the most part, but there was this one night with that group that I can never shrug off I believe

it comes to me in my nightmares

from time to time

Basically I started 'dating' this guy right after 9th grade and his parents didn't want him to date so they banned us from speaking and I just...crashed.

I was born with these issues, but I will go to my grave saying that it was because of him that it came out like this.

I'm sorry to hear that... you still take anti depressants as you said?