Ohh but what about my essay?

Idk <:KEK:795742276549607456>

Lol no you did really well defending something that is overrated but I would encourage you to look a bit deeper at you own words and see if you can find what your message should have been ;)

Tell me, I don’t jnow

Know*

Highschool, I’m a junior

But thank you

Im a junior and almost none of the kids can do that besides a select few

True. Maybe I should’ve dug deeper, but then again I only had 40 mins. If I had longer I’d touch it up

Read it once or twice take 5 minutes to think on it and if you still can't figure it out I will tell you

Really? Thank you <:CamelAhh:747629527923949641>

Okay

Totally agree with this @president but reading it I personally KNOW you can do better if given more time

Well thank you I appreciate that, I might rewrite it for the hell of it. I should prepare some essays just for fun to back up my political opinions

while i do agree with you I would suggest making revisions with regard to your thesis statement. While you do discuss the points in your thesis you stress more the harm of over acceptance rather than stressing the fact that it is overrated. This should be stated in your thesis. I would also suggest that you make sure you are purveying the point you intend. At times the message gets a bit lost. This is due also to the fact that your thesis statement is different from your actual main points, which causes confusion in the paper. While it is a solidly written paper grammatically the first sentence is a run on, at the very least most teachers would not enjoy its length. I also believe that you should keep in mind that the true sign of intelligence isn't in using smart words to explain something, it's in using simple words to explain a complex idea (Albert Einstein).

Good!

I figured i sidetracked at times. Thank you very much for this criticism!! Maybe I can try to rewrite and reword things and show you guys for feedback

I just wish I had more time

Dbel quoting one of the greatest minds of all time :)

With essays like these I can’t stop and think

I take like 5 minutes to choose my evidence in my head then begin

Kks!!

If I typed it I’d be done with min red to spare

Minutes*

Also I think your paper should be on why acceptance is overrated and how veil of inclusion is making it that way.

Keep a copy of the original incase the new one isn't as good :)

Also submit both always submit everything :)

I did this to teachers I didn't like.... I would submit 2 to 4 different papers on the same subject with all editing and draft pieces.

Then if they marked something other than grammar or spelling I would dispute it as hard as I could until my grade was raised or the principal/director got involved

Who also happened to take a few ideas from others (allegedly)

that is all famous academics.... almost all of them bounced ideas off other intellectuals

Yeah but if you don’t reference them it’s an issue

lol how many college thesis have you seen that give all credit where credit is due? not one

I think it has something to do with standardized testing..?

idrk. I just know I have always hated common core assignments

All mine have given credit so that’s like 8 minor ones

eh I bet more than a few of them bounced an idea or something off a friend and didn't give the friend credit

Common core is a different way of teaching things that is focused on making everyone know the exact same methods

Pretty true lol

so can we REALLY call what Einstein did stealing without any proof that he actually STOLE from others?

but I digress 😄