IDK

Hey Hey party people

hey bitch

Basically my family treats me nicely so I feel content but in reality my actual life seems as though nothing is moving.

@Sparky Sorry man there may have been a bit of projection in that interpretation

@Sparky But yeah, I can relate. There's nothing I hate more than not going anywhere in life.

Which means that they don't really care about me. They just want to live happy ever after.

@Sparky Or at least, the feeling of never changing, never growing, and doing the same shit over and over again every day.

@Sparky "They just want to live happily ever after." IKR! HOW can they just do the same shit everyday and be perfectly happy?>

If you care about something you would want it to be different therefore by that I mean better.

In today's society you don't even spend most of your time with the people that actually matter anyway.

Not the same as it was 1 year ago.

Yeah

You spend most of your time working, to my previous point.

So by that definition my family shows care but actually do not care.

Because they're keeping you from becoming uncomfortable/challenged in life?

In a way, they stop me from doing what I want to do.

Ah

yeah... I love my fam but I can't truly get away in order to grow.

There are things I just can't do with them around.

But they are things I NEED to do.

If I were to act in a manner, someone like my mother would disagree and force me to do something that she knows I disagree with because I either told her before that I disagree with that or I disagree with her about her decision at that moment.

it's all about insecurityh with someone like that

She is such a bitch.

I dont know. I dont know what to do.

The desire for power and control can make someone self contradict... my mom is that way.

Am afraid that my decision might make the stack of Legos fall.

My mother got pissed today because I responded to a text with 'yeah' which she reacted to by pulling some stupid shit out of her ass about how it's disrespectful. Always something... thank god I live on my own now.

@Sparky That will happen and you cannot win. Bitches bitch. I don't know how old you are but unless you want to deal with CPS, you need to move out asap.

I hold back my urge to commit to what I want because I think that it might fuck up the status of my current life and ALSO because I did that action impulsively rathe than plan it out.

fearing change is normal....

But it's ultimately your choice.

*[but what if my family kicks me out of their house?]* *[But what if my mother kills herself because am not with her anymore. And then from that my father dies from drinking alcohol too much because he misses me?]* This type of shit is what stops me from moving forward.

I'm sorry man, there is no simple answer.

ofc, it's much harder for you than anyone looking in from the outside. That's why I can't really give useful advice.

It is annoying in my opinion but I also consider them to be crucial possibilities that if it were to happen I might consider myself to be at fault of causing.

I guess am just ranting right now.

Try not to blame yourself for other peoples' actions. And don't limit your options subconsciously. There are other possibilities in terms of solutions...

Am not forcing you to care about my situation.

I always try to step back as far as possible when it comes to my current situation and think in terms of the bigger picture. It helps to gain perspective.

This is my curse.