Desires are healthy, in my opinion. If you don't live to strive for something more than what you have then what are you doing? That wouldn't get us anywhere if we all were complacent in what we already have.

How come a person such as myself who didn't use a phone turned and would do purposeful actions, then turned into a piece of shit after he started using it often?

This is also true, you have to desire something better than your current situation... you're not living life otherwise

Is it my hormones of which every male soon received?

Dude, I don't know if am either finding something else to place the fault at or if I actually have a reason for saying those stuff.

It sounds like you're trying to blame everything on your circumstances. Sorry....

dude don't be sorry.

But, there is a reason why your desire is so intense- you've got be honest with yourself.

only then can you move on.

Or at least make progress...

I hate when people like my family or teachers blantently lie to me in front of my face to make me feel better.

Good. Because I value the truth

Due to how I look people treat me differently.

mmm

Sorry back in General. Had to get married

I don't hate them for being that type of way but rather I hate those who tell me lies to confort me and those who mock me because my appearance and because(I think) he wants to make himself happy within his own broken heart, of which his familars caused because they want him to be something that they want rather than support what he wants to be.

Sorry man your pronouns and sudden change of context make this confusing.

What I'm getting from that is that people lie because they pity you, and your fam reinforces this by never changing the way they treat you?

Regardless of what you do?

IDK

Hey Hey party people

hey bitch

Basically my family treats me nicely so I feel content but in reality my actual life seems as though nothing is moving.

@Sparky Sorry man there may have been a bit of projection in that interpretation

@Sparky But yeah, I can relate. There's nothing I hate more than not going anywhere in life.

Which means that they don't really care about me. They just want to live happy ever after.

@Sparky Or at least, the feeling of never changing, never growing, and doing the same shit over and over again every day.

@Sparky "They just want to live happily ever after." IKR! HOW can they just do the same shit everyday and be perfectly happy?>

If you care about something you would want it to be different therefore by that I mean better.

In today's society you don't even spend most of your time with the people that actually matter anyway.

Not the same as it was 1 year ago.

Yeah

You spend most of your time working, to my previous point.

So by that definition my family shows care but actually do not care.

Because they're keeping you from becoming uncomfortable/challenged in life?

In a way, they stop me from doing what I want to do.

Ah

yeah... I love my fam but I can't truly get away in order to grow.

There are things I just can't do with them around.

But they are things I NEED to do.

If I were to act in a manner, someone like my mother would disagree and force me to do something that she knows I disagree with because I either told her before that I disagree with that or I disagree with her about her decision at that moment.