"Nancy, what's your blood alcohol level?" ".00001." "Alcohol?" "No, blood."

She doesn't have body fat because her veins are filled with antifreeze.

what the fuck nancy

who says good morning in the middle of a conversation

To Pelosi, a three martini lunch is an appetizer.

She'll expect an apology from the people putting the words on the teleprompter.

Swamp monsters do

What is she having for dinner?

It's a swamp thing you just wouldn't get it

alright boys

@JJ.2o2o Excellent handle 😍

i finished my philosophy compass

> What is she having for dinner?
@JJ.2o2o Jack Daniels. The entire warehouse.

@DishonoredRonin I'd be kinda impressed

Fueled by rum and coke
Cocaine

Nancy showed us her huge ice cream freezer. I was more impressed with her Olympic-sized scotch pool.

remember when nancy ripped up trump's speech

over not getting a handshake

She thought it said, "Nancy, you've had enough to drink".

I bet he pulled a speech out of his ass and killed it

honestly trump seems like the kind of guy to do that with precision

Sundays are for mimosas

Mornings are for coffee and contemplation

Mornings are for an hour of sleep before facing the rest of the day.

That's not what Pelosi thinks

My mornings are just a fast SSS(shit shower shave) before driving to work

Okay, I've spread horror, laughter, and a lot of bull. Back to laundry.

Can't neglect the 3 s's

(That was almost an awkward typo...)

Gotta go to church, ttyl

That's basically what my mornings are

I lounge for half an hour after my alarm, then get ready in ten minutes

going out to civil war 2 with these

You’ve gotta have a lot of time on your hands to do all of that with cardboard

worth it if the mob tracks me down

Hey they can’t ban wood.

All I need is a wood shredder

those pistols are looking pretty hot right now

Impressive

can some one make a meme like this?;

black left antifa libs be like: I didn't get this job :c must be because I'm black 😔 👊

black cons be like: I didn't get this job, I'll work harder!

i'm on it