My tightest, best boiz on discord asking me to join up and hang out but I'm just listening to $uicideboy$ shit and finna pop some more kpins. Slashed up my arm before pouring alcohol on it yesterday in a panicked mania because I felt like I was too soft and pussy for pain, and my fucky head thought that was a way to prove to myself I wasn't one. Yeah, if only my mind would go the extra mile and wash the xans down with alcohol. Felt like I was a weak pussy, I got manic and I slashed at my wrist to try and prove to myself I wasn't some punk pussy bitch who's afraid of pain.. this shit just happens on a dime too, idk what my problems are Then the night before that I bopped some benzos, the night before that I bopped a baby dose of addy (60 mg) My shit is figgity fucked. I feel like I'm getting worse as a person by the day, and I already accepted I'm completely useless, except to meme with. I bottle up and hide all the shit I feel or distract myself and then I do spergy shit spontaneous bs like jumping into a 9 foot deep empty pool or slash my arm open. The sink had splashes of blood and I was just acting hyped so I wouldn't feel like a pussy
