They wouldn't start till he was asleep

hmm

that's interesting

Even at my mom's and grandma's I'd hear them though

if he was awake and you were around him; woudl you hear stuff?

No

did he ever hear anything?

like when you were hearing stuff at the same time i mean

Idk he acted like he didn't

He took me to therapy for it

yea that was a mistake

did you mom or grandma, when your dad was not around, hear anything when you be hearing stuff?

No it wouldn't start till everyone was asleep

The only people that ever heard it was my friends

hmm

when it first started were your parents still together?

Idk man I had a head injury when i was like 3 or 4

No they were split

oh that's what i meant by other factors

hmm

But it didn't start till way after

When I was 7

how long after the head injury?

okay

And lasted till I was like 13

yea that makes sense

How

it's tied to your fear when you hit around puberty the fear isn't the same and you began to learn to not give your fear attention

Ah

Now I'm a
fearful person again though

That's y I take benzos

your parents splitting up made you insecure, your dad though helped mollify your fear because he wasn't a strong man couldn't totally get rid of it totally, but when he be awake and you around him or doing stuff with him you were not afraid, but when he go to sleep your fear kick in

yea well i mean in adolescence your fear morphed into anxiety which is why you do drugs like benzos

"fear is the mindkiller" ---Dune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64-FuHHyr8s

when you're a child you're more susceptible to fear too, which explains why your friends could hear it but your parents couldn't, and then being around the women relatives heightens your fear because they purposefully fuck with you and they are themselves not strong in a spiritual sense, it's not the same strength as that of the father

you never overcame your fear totally, this is why you still have anxiety, you just simply got older so it's not the same

hi

howdy canyon

how are you?

good join the chat