Message from @fallot
Discord ID: 300290575486287872
never think badly about anyone
become baby jesus essentially
Jesus is not like that though
in the end times Jesus is going to come back and kill anyone who sucks
sure, just as an example I mean
be a truly innocent soul
i.e. fake it or whatever, force yourself to do that
become weak, a shmuck etc.
plagues, wars, poisoning the oceans, locusts, then coming out of heaven with a flaming sword and an angelic army to murder anyone still alive who sucks at all
no
I would rather be like Jesus than do that
it's an exercize really, you dont end up weak
the point is you break past your issues and become truly strong
rather than just evil
what does strength mean
not trying to "deconstruct," just be clear
I would say it means two things together, corresponding with inner and outer nature
the strength to overcome, and the strength to subsume/accept
without one, the other becomes meaningless
so truth and love together, is strength
like a bully beating on schoolkids
the strength to accept can also be weakness
calmly watching the world go by, never acting
but both I think is true strength
I think a big part of the reason I am this way is that in my current life stage there is nothing I desire at all
there is no way to recombine the elements of my day to day life in a way that is at all pleasing to me
it's a fundamentally futile endeavour anyway
to mix and match
there is no scenario I can concoct in which commute, dress clothes, coworkers, boss, paperwork etc. becomes an enjoyable and fulfilling experience
you can't know what you really want when you're so focused on hiding from some discomfort
or dealing with some discomfort
therefore I do not even try and just become cycnical while scrambling for the exit
the #1 thing I want is no job
I'm not sure that would be fulfilling either
even if I have to eat nothing but lentils and sleep on bare plywood
in itself no, it will not
someone who is fulfilled is that way, to an extent, regardless of circumstance
but unlike job life it will let me be free to seek fulfillment
the party is still BYOB, but with a job I am not even invited to the party at all
again, I don't agree with your motivations, but it could work in some other way