You will find futa disgusting

And anime porn at least oddly distant

That is absolute. No porn at all. Not even straight.

The above depends on you being otherwise fine, not abused etc

But even in that case would be beneficial

Porn is mind control. Of all sorts.

Drawn. Real. Gay. Straight.

It has a direct line to stuff far below the rational mind.

Even below the irrational mind

People forget they arent disembodied spirits remote controlling flesh robots

You being a victim because most of the rest of the world and the west as well till recently had a certain basal response to faggotry

People even on hardcore right doublethink this away as genuine progress

Possible because the internal moral or disgust response is so neutered they simply dont feel its wrong

Reason follows such impulses

Its why obscenity can be a crime in an "of course its wrong" way to plenty of people

Like public coprophagia

Even now the basic hostile response is not fully absent

Just diminished to apathy

This apathy defines the modern west and indeed the modern world

You see it most in young intelligent males

Who live in the most abstract world hence the absence of these basics in that realm makes them vegetables or libertarians

How to possibly change such a state of being though?

It's very ingrained

Health is immediately available as you cannot truly kill nature

What seems deeply ingrained

Is in many ways self chosen

When the disentanglement occurs change is rapid

Apathy seems to be at the root of all the other sicknesses

This is for general cases

Yeah. It is basically despair in a sense.

Not depression per se

Just giving up

Not in actions

But in the heart

@Kalvin you may be familiar with the hadith of the least good

No

“Whoever of you sees an evil must then change it with his hand. If he is not able to do so, then [he must change it ] with his tongue. And if he is not able to do so, then [he must change it] with his heart. And that is the slightest [effect of] faith.”

I remember talking about this in a group actually

Or something similar. Not openly voicing one's inner darkness

What is inner darkness

Perhaps some of what you call inner darkness