"before his time" I mean

yeah unfortunately that is true also

save people from what?

saving people is kicking the can down the road

is it?

what else, you delay apparent death

the kind of thing you are talking about is why I didn't do medicine

but you are right, even a lifelong fix is just temproary

general surgery you have a problem and you have solution, its very clear cut

yeah

which is nice honestly

you tell her that while you believe her, eventually diabetes causes those feelings to disappear or become unreliable

and then you tell her its either take your meds or lose your eyes

kidneys

or limbs

I don't know what its like

and I'm probably different in this regard because I've seen other people getting mad in pakistan

and even the UK

but why do you care?

I'm really just trying to find out here

if I was in your shoes, I don't think I would care, I'd do a good job

other than that if they live or die

it makes no difference to me

good people or bad, black or white

however much we can do now, in absolute terms its very little

medicine on balance has only now become even something that actually helps

most medicine in the pre-modern era would have been dangerous

outside of a few techniques and procedures

it's simple

this is the thought I woke up to at 4am

so of course one could argue that, as we all die, everything we do here is just temporary playing around

the way I see it, the purpose of life is to prepare to meet God, to cultivate virtue

spending most of my waking time doing something that isn't part of that is therefore a huge problem

and some might say "yeah but you can discipline yourself to figure out how to cultivate virtue through any activity"

but I don't really see it that way anymore, I can't explain that clearly yet though

why isn't it virtue?

remember

what personal virtue am I developing through this?

think of souls

I am; of mine

not of worldly consequences