<:GWsetmyxPeepoWeird:405337568155009024>

u should not have one

you shouldnt own kids tom

you sick pedo

:ç

shakti

lets have tantric sex

sure gordon i'll rape you

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2017/12/autocorrect-nightmare-typo-bill-c-45-legalizes-cannibalism-instead-cannabis/?fbclid=IwAR32oe5qrfKAT4mEEkaJ_SHtaAw2zwdqFMMPIKzsT9-L_HSnGERChm15ELQ

bruh

is there space for third

How do you do that

karmamudra?

i've done it before

No submit a bill with a bunch of fucking typos

Don't they look over those before putting it out on the floor?

ok

>abdallah

#tiktok Miley Cyrus turned young girls into whores. Everything is going as I have foreseen <:rubhands:348458410783539211>

Security story of the day 10-17-18: CO?

Pull up on site at 1525 or so before my shift (I’m taking a taxi cuz my car is broken down) notice about a dozen “transients” who infest this area of town at the NE side of the parking lot fucking around with stolen bikes.. Already mad seeing this shit about to just call the PD cuz that was day 2 of the same shit happening and I’m fair but you test me and I’m not going to take your shit etc. etc.

Clock in get debriefed by the morning guard (nothing ever happens in the mornings I’m the night guard shit goes off at night..)

“Haha alright my dude see you later we need to get you a bigger uniform you cant even fit my 3xl with ur wide ass… I’m pissed I’m gonna go call the cops right in front of those stupid assholes peace.”

*Dude leaves and I walk over and begin writing on my DAR (Daily Activity Report).. Bunch of them disperse when they see me so it’s half of a headache I figure I can deal with it without calling PD..*

Walk up to the notorious “Turtle” who was my number 1 asshole for half a year and one day he saw me save someone’s life who was OD’ing and gave me respect so now we’re cool and I’m kinda in such shock that I give him a pass cuz his old lady works at the gas station next to the property I let him loiter for a little bit and tell him don’t get people crowded up around you blowing up your spot or I’mma have to come down on you got it? Good ok…

Talking to a local that I know we’ll call him Wheelchair Greg he’s a transient druggie who told me he’s trying to get better who I try to help he’s cool with me we mess around he’s got a stolen bike in his hand I grab my radio..

“Hey guys do you y’all sell xyz type bikes?”

“I don’t think so why?”

“Cuz I’m looking at a stolen bike right now and I’m wanted to know if it came from inside the store..”

*Out of nowhere*

“Hey man how are you doing?”

*Look over my left shoulder*

*UPD Officer sitting on the hood of his car with his arms folded*

“Haha oh dang well I was pulling in at the start of my shift at 1530 and I saw the bicycle chop shop gang out here and I was gonna call you guys but I figured I’d try to deal with it myself I don’t like to bother you unless it’s something serious..”

*We shoot the shit a little bit about how my post is a shithole and I tell him the hard work we’ve been doing to make it into a respectable business again and these knuckleheads bla bla and I see drug deals all the time but I don’t call unless I’m sure bla bla he’s like yeah…*

I didn’t know at the time but I kinda figured it out that Wheelchair Greg was a suspect they were looking for… LEO kept telling him not to go anywhere until his partner gets here..

((((secret innner voice… omgz this cop is actually out here treating me with respect because he’s on scene without any backup and I’m gigantic 6’8” with a stun gun… I’m like his partner right now omg omg omg))))

*have a mobility issue sustained from a birth injury talk to the cop about passing the academy cuz I’ve been giving serious thought to joining LE he says to go talk to the chief at the station.*

“So Officer if you don’t mind me asking why are you investigating Wheelchair Greg?”

*All the while the cop is grilling this dude like.. He knows exactly who this guy is and what he does…*

“Well this guy is out here dealing heroin, crank, and weed in your parking lot.”

“Ohhh!! That’s good to know officer thank you I’ll make sure to let you guys know if I see anything I see suspicious activity all the time but it’s rare for them to let me see hands trading money and all that blabla..”
Wheelchair Greg: “I don’t deal anymore blabla last time you scared me I’m scared straight!!!”

*shows his hand shaking*

Officer: “Well what are you doing out here then mind if I search you?”

Wheelchair Greg: “I was uhh uhh talking to this sherriff uhh uhh correctional officer.”

Lolwut

Me: “Security guard”

*inner monologue* lmao this guy is so shook he referred to me as a CO… Mega Freudian slip…

Me and the cop keep shooting the shit and grilling this asshole and god damn it was hilarious I kept laughing my ass off talking about doing some real hard security work cleaning up skid row and shit and he was super cool I love it when we get respect from law enforcement for the hard job that we have at my particular post it’s very rare that we get credit for the shit that nobody sees us do except the degenerates who we enforce on…

We are grilling this dude.. He is like treating me like his partner and we’re just dressing this drug dealer down so hard it made my fucking day..

Eventually his partner arrives and I tell them I’m gonna let them do they’re thing they thank me and proceed with their investigation.. Saw them frisking the guy for drugs unfortunately nothing was found so they let him go with or without a citation I’m not sure.. All I know is next time I see Wheelchair Greg I’m going to fucking dab on him harder than I’ve ever dabbed on anyone in my life.

worth the read

ok

Are you training for being a cop?

yeah

well

i mean

mentally

not what I meant lol

better to start early

i need to find out if there's even a small chance for me to pass academy with my birth injury

true

a detective told my morning guard they're hard up for people

if i even have a chance to make LEO i'll quit smoking

and go to the gym