Good job btw

I called the suicide hotline years ago

wish I don't have to do it again

most of my time I ask myself what is the point of living

Some say I should so I take care of others

but whats the point?

do I have to wake up every single day to just live and suffer?

Do you want to know what doesn't make me commit suicide?

I was about 15 when my friend told the guidance counceler that he thought I was gonna kill myself. I went there and found out I didnt need to be there. Since then I have fought day in and day out to keep going but what helps me is I found porpuse, I dedicated myself to something greater then me so while I may not make it into the history books I now I make a difference.

So I can see my family and friends

There ya go

I love all so much

But it makes me extremely sad to know I have to say goodbye to them

like I had with my grandfather

It really hurts

Then everytime you get that thought 'why go on living' think of them, think of what you mean to them and what they mean to you and dedicate your life to them and making your own

Dismiss it as soon as it enters your head, thats the hard part, fighting your own thoughts. I joined my local volunteer fire company at 16, started running calls a few weeks later. I live for it, it is my porpuse. My advice, find something to define you wether it be volunteering or building. Find something you can call your own and dive into it

Make your life too important to take away, thats what did it for me, and it took a while, a very long time. But from wanting to end it all 5 years ago, now Im a volunteer firefighter (did some pretty kick ass stuff too, and im very respected there) and im an adult leader for the local cub scout pack, I'm 20 and I've had 10 yr olds tell me they want to grow up just like me.

Find something to love about yourself MORE then you can hate. And honestly i can say I'd miss you if you go too

tbh

I don't know what to say

Im an existencialist on this matter, like giving myself a purpose

Like

Just to think that all the work I do will be squandered sooner or latter destroys all of my will to change

Thats not true, I train often for rescue scenarios that I hope will never happen. (which this virus closing everything is eating me on the inside) and I ften think 'this is pointless im never gonna use this' but its all for the chance that if one day I need to, I can and I will

I cant tell you what your porpuse should be, thats something you need to figure out on your own BUT you have one out there. You may not make the history books but one day someone WILL remember your name and you WILL have a leagacy. You just need to find it

Your effort wont be squandered if EVERYTHING you do is to a porpuse one day

If you keep pushing and you keep grinding then you'll be golden

Hope I helped

yep

I had to vent

But I dunno if I want to discuss this

like

everytime I try, it ends nowhere

not even with my therapist

so I just give up

thanks lad

Dont give up on life to and no problem I try too

I don't guarantee

still dont know why I shouldn't give up on it

Cmon mate share with us