Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to [restrain] yourself and keep from [talking back] to them, as they are very [territorial] and easily angered. This will result in their attempted [verbal abuse] of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an [easy task] to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly.
II. Where to find n00bs
On the internet, n00bs make their colonies on forums. They [migrate] in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up [bandwidth] with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies. [THE BANNER HAMMER] is one form of authority.
Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into [spammers]. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear.
Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific.
III. Behavior of noobs
Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their [fluency] in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite agressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many [L's] and [O's] in rapid sucession (the noobish word for laughing like an [ultimate retard]).
