I can’t cook popcorn (taken from r/askreddit)
I can't for the life of me cook microwave popcorn. No matter what microwave or time or power level. You'd think: remove plastic, put in microwave, 3 minutes, ding and popcorn. Nope, burned after 3 minutes. Ok, let's try again, turn the fan on because it smells bad. Let's try 2 minutes. Nope, bag is now four popped kernels.
Ok, one last time because we're wasting popcorn. So I try 2.5 minutes and I stare into my microwave as if to challenge the void to ruin this bag. I listen for every pop, I don't blink. I wait excitedly because I'm convinced I've finally figured out the secret. And that's when I set fire to the microwave. Repeat every three months or so when I want popcorn and forget I'm a moron.
