White claw definitely ahas drugs

The watermelon white claw though 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Don’t give in 🤣

@TommyG i wish white claw did that to me 🤣🤣

Same. Also cocaine in the Ukraine

If you don’t. It doesn’t count @Sideshow Bob

@TommyG goodnight from Utah

You gotta windshield 🤣🤣🤣

Oh fuck!

You had me at lazy eye 🤣🤣

This needs to happen

If you have to put on a mask. Just wear a Trump one. They will leave you the fuck alone after that.

I tried to go into Costco without one. They told me i had to wear one. I was with my daughter and was like fuck it fine. So i put on a Trump one and they deemed it offensive

@TommyG is definitely going to have to move to Utah to have multiple wives.

My new IG bio 🤣🤣🤣

But has anyone woken up their neighbors from having sex and getting several noise complaints and the cops called on you regarding your “late night activities”

Basically. 🤣🤣 everywhere we have lived. House or an apartment. We have received complaints

Well fuck. I’m sorry. 🤣🤣

And the key paraphrase is “horny”

You need to get a vush empress if you don’t have one already. Just saying. It will take all the worries away 🤣

Enjoy your google search

But least she didn’t accidentally leave you meth. 🤣 you might like the strangers.

You’re welcome

I’m telling you. Fucking. Life. Changing. I can’t even describe it.

But do you? 🤣

Every woman needs one. Stat.

Sorry. But she had to know about it. Ans so does everyone. Like I’m telling you. Every women needs it.

I just chocked on my wine

Nope. You need this.

Night!

You’re so very welcome. Pack it on your honeymoon with @TommyG

Nobody wanted this. But I’m here for it 🤣🤣

The plot thickens 🤣

Headed to bed. Night weirdos 🖤

You’re my new fav in here.

Damn. I got to stay for the punchline

Just realized i had a full glass of wine on my nightstand. So that was a premature “night”

Should we do a poll of how fast i can finish it?

Fuck 🤣🤣🤣 omg I’m dead

Give me 2 seconds

Beer would be more fitting for that

I was actually giddy.

Just had my edible about 30 min ago too

The fuck

It’s gone. Now I’m sad

I have a funny wine and church story

Soooo. I grew up catholic. Is the beginning of this story. Hadn’t been to a mass in years! Well my daughters first Easter. Almost 5 years ago. We decided to go to church as a family. On Easter Sunday

I went up to take my communion. Took the body of Christ. Then came time for the blood of Christ. I tipped that grail back and chugged the wine. Got back to the pew and i looked at my husband and whisperers. “That wine taste like shit” he says. What do you mean? Well. I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to drink it.

And i drank the whole think and there was still a packed church behind me.

And i haven’t been back since. I felt so bad. I had no fucking clue. But i needed a good blood of Christ 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Fuck. I’m turning into @Pipeliner_USA aunt

If they’re fluffy and cute 🤣🤣🤣

That was days ago

@LondonAbby💋 never thought i would own a cat. But after my grandma passed last year. I needed one. Since she always had them. And i love this little bitch

I mean no. But 🤷🏻‍♀️

Good thing is cats are easy to hide 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve always hated them. But we rescued her and i can’t imagine our home without her now. Her and our dog and bffs

@LondonAbby💋 and now i find myself high searching for cute cat things and searching “why do cats purr” at 3 am

Oh. Most definitely.

Purring is their way of saying they enjoy what you’re doing.

Yes. I have a cheeba chew nightly.

And now I’m going to have nightmares for the rest of my fucking life

Not worth the risk. 🤣

Which is a risk I’m not willing to take 🤣

No. Just no. My high self can’t handle this 🤣🤣🤣

I like you back

I mean i said you back. Not your back. But yea 🤣

I called my husband from 400 miles away and told him to call my brother who i was with. To call 911

Please don’t. I already can’t fucking sleep

But that’s not scary.

Sorry. I’m too high and sitting her thinking what everyone’s house and decor looks like

Yup!

I’m obsessed with houses and interior design and i always just get curios. But yes. I’m high af right now

He’s a little bitch.

I’m not going to say. 🤣🤣

If i watched a home show. I would wake up with no money and buy so many things

Oh fuck yea

It’s so fucking embarrasssing

Better question. Ever gone to ikea not with a drink or a blunt before hand? Only way to survive that place.

Biggest fear is balloons. Next comes spiders, snakes, and heights.

And the carts are so fucked!!

I have no idea. But I’m terrified. They give me so much anxiety. Like is that little fucker playing with the balloon going to pop it? And the sound when someone rubs it.

Only way to cook bacon is in the oven. And if you rinse it off in cold water before you cook it. It doesn’t shrink. Oven helps prevent this too. But the shrinkage mainly comes from stove top. Oven clean up is a breeze too

Wait what? I just get in and out. Fucking hate that place. I maybe go once a year 🤣

Ummm i need it!!!

I won’t even go close to them. My daughter doesn’t get to have them at her birthdays either.

here’s my living room

I know 🤣🤣 I’m ok with Mylar balloons. So she gets those

Maybe it was 🤣🤣🤣

Thanks

Mine?

Thank you

Kitchen. I’ve added more decor since then

Everyone says it looks like a Pinterest home

Every day. 3+ meals a day.

My little babes room

I can cook like a mother fucker. And bake.

Yup! My specialty is cheesecake

So you like butter

We actually painted that. Took us about 10 hours

🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤