Bro

I’m not debatin

I’m recapping the entire roman history

From empire to 1453

Not only.

Alas

Justinian II was a well meaning ruler

Until, 698 when a general named Leontius overthrew him and cut his nose off

Now normally, mutilation means you can’t be emperor

People would be blinded, have their balls or nose cut off

Etc

An anarchy continued until 712 when someone was back

Justinian II was back with a golden prosthetic on his nose and he was pissed

His second reign lasted a short time before he was executed

Credits to Leo III the Khazar for fixing the anarchy

Otherwise the Byzantines would have collapsed earlier

Most of the 8th Century onward was a bit quiet since nothing was happening due to ok emperors

Constantine V The dung named was good; despite his name which was given by hostile historians

Enter Constantine VI?

His own mom had him blinded and exiled.

He died soon after.

She was kicked off the throne by a Financial Administrator named Nikephoros I.

In 811 AD, Nikephoros was on a campaign in Bulgaria

He brutally murdered a town’s population with no mercy, and the Tzar Krum was pissed

In 811 AD by the Pliska pass, Krum ambushed Nikephoros’ forces and decimated them all

His son Staurakios died too; the future emperor

Well

Staurakios was mortally injured but he reigned for 4 months before dying

His successor Michael I was ineffective, ruling for 3 years

Everything was pretty fine; till Michael III the drunkard came in

People call him the drunkard because he was lazy and ineffective

He was actually pretty good contrary to what was branded upon him

The byzantine made a lot of territorial gains

Overall, approaching the 9th century the byzantine empire was faring off pretty well.

Basil I the Macedonian ruled until 886? AD after him.

Basil was good. Great financial administrator and conqueroror

Died in a hunting accident after getting dragged by a deer for 16 KM.

The empire was fine for many years after basil died under Constantine VII Porphyrogenitos and Romanos Lekapenos

Enter 960.

The empire’s all fine and dandy, but Romanos’ successor Romanos II is ineffective.

When he dies, a lad named Nikephoros II pinches the throne

Nikephoros was an ugly person, but one of the best military conquerors.

He was eventually killed after a 6 year reign after a conspiracy from a minister that he demoted for ineffectivity

His successor John Tzismiskes was great too, excellent conqueror until his untimely death in 976 from the plague

Then came the best Byzantine emperor

Basil II Boulgaroktonos.

Basil expanded the Empire’s territories all the way to the danube and was a brilliant financial admin. All was great at that time.

His successors were poorly chosen men who were husbands of the Empress Zoe, except for Constantine Monomachos who was fairly good

Then a bloke came along by 1060~ named Constantine X Doulas

Doukas

Doukas was pathetic, destroyed the army, and economy

Oh the schism?

I’ll get into that later

His successor Romanos IV diogenes suffered a horrible defeat at Manzikert in 1071 to the turks and all was in shambles since he was taken captive

His successors weren’t great either until a certain fellow named Alexios I Komnenos came along

Until 1185 the Komnenids were good and competent rulers who held the empire upright

Alexios John and Manuel were all good and well meaning.

Manuel too, except in 1176 towards the end of his reign

He suffered a defeat to the turks at Myriokephalon.

Whoops! And in the early 1180s when he died, his successor was his 14 year old son.

John’s cousin Andronikos I Komnenos had the youth strangled and took reign

Andronikos was cruel.

He was eventually killed after a week of public torture

Coming around the late 12th century we see the most spineless rulers

The Angelids.

Isaac II Angelos was a pathetic ruler who did almost nothing

His relative Alexios III Angelos wasn’t better at all. Cruel and lavish, he emptied the treasury on personal items and dismantled the army

The issue here was the crusaders

Alexios was expelled by the crusaders and Isaac’s son Alexios IV Angelos was put into power

Alexios IV was a pederast according to his father, who he freed from prison as they joint ruled

Isaac was blinded on orders of Alexios III bte

Btw

The Crusaders here were horrible. Ruthless pillagers who forgot the main mission to recover the holy land

Eventually, on Feb 8 1204, the two Angelids were killed by Alexios V Doukas Mourtzuphlos who tried to handle the crusaders

He was executed in 1205 by being thrown from the column of theodosius.

The Crusaders handled Constantinople for 50 years.

Meanwhile in exile, the Byzantine was the Nicean Empire

Theodore I Laskaris held power for a while, and he was pretty decent

Holding off Turks and expanding territory

His successor John III Doukas Vatatzes was even more better

A pious emperor who made territorial gains and was canonized as a saint in Christianity later

His son Theodore II Laskaris lasted 4 years; albeit he too was brilliant in his own sense. The previous two emperors were epileptic

Despite his epilepsy, John III and Theodore II managed to keep the empire going on

They handed their throne off to John IV Laskaris, Theodore’s 8 year old son who had a regent for 3 years.

On his 11th birthday, he was blinded and exiled.

The man who ordered this was Michael VIII Palaiologos

He was brutal but an ok emperor

Not great

But he did reconquer constantinople by 1260.

His successors weren’t amazing.

Andronikos II Komnenos had a long reign but he was ineffective.

A lot of lost territory happened during his reign

In 1320, his grandson Andronikos III ended up accidentally killing his own brother

And Andronikos II’s son, his Co Emperor John IX died of grief

Andronikos ended up disowning his grandson and a civil war happened

The latter won and he ruled for a bit.

His son, John V was pathetic

A spineless ruler who completely lost territory around the empire

He didn’t know when to give up

Eventually he died of a nervous breakdown after a series of humiliating defeats.