See, I thought me bringing up my stepdad would make it obvious I was joking.

Shouldn't the sale be on now?

But this guy might be serious.

3 more hours.

....so, you never drank piss before?

<:pepeturt:499291994649133067>

No, no I have not. Shit, piss, vomit, blood, and puke are the things I will not touch in a sexual situation.

drinking piss isn't something you should really admit in polite company, this has been a lesson in western courtesy.

...is this polite company, though?

>you guys

Yes, I imagine all of you as upstanding members of society

>polite company

<:tipsfedora:383326576609329162>

And I would hope you feel the same

I am an upstanding citizen. But this is my bad place.

I hope you don't think i threaten to rape people irl

I think you give off the vibe

tfw this is my bad place too

I'm a well respected student at a prestigious institution

<:wholesomethonk:373550351082848267>

<:thvnk:332928260004642827>

You have genuinely considered hitting on a professor's daughter.

there is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as professionalism in the workplace is maintained

@johnfrum If I'm sexually aggressive here, wouldn't it stand to reason that irl, I'm very soft spoken and respectful?

I think you may give off some strange signals.

People confide in me regularly, so I think I exude a very welcoming aura of security.

People like to jabber about things that has no bearing on anything to strangers.

can confirm

But I'm not talking about strangers, John. I'm talking about my managers, regarding very sensitive things like pay increases and disciplinary action against other workers.

inb4 matthew is literally a care bear irl

fat, cuddly and approachable

😉

I'm a perfect gentleman to everyone I meet, but I'm not shy about putting a thumb in your butt when I'm doing you doggy style.

Also, due to my non manlet height and my very broad shoulders, I actually wear my weight very well. Very comfy being bigger and inherently more intimidating than most around you, while also not being an ugly pig.

Why the fuck do youtubers do videos staring right at the camera uncomfortably close if they are supposed to be demonstrating something

Manlets can't cope with the fact that women prefer an obese man to a trim manlet. I laff

Are you afraid of eye contact, John?

No, I don't need a close up of a face for half a vid when I could be looking at what the fuck you are doing and a voice over while you are doing it

Like I get the algorithm prefers that for some fucking reason

But if I'll looking up something as obscure as how to refinish patent leather then you don't need that gimmick

Oh, I understand what you mean now.

Show, not tell. Also, blink more often.

must be nice being a non-manlet

I currently look quite literally like a thinner version of the monk class in diablo

<:pepeturt:499291994649133067>

It's weird how future behaviour will probably be determined by bots who people aren't sure how they work.

Like look at the garbage parent will put on auto play on tablets.

At an even 6', I just barely made the cutoff, but even then, the social status buff is great.

what the fuck we are just a few inches apart

are you sure you wear the weight well?

<:wholesomethonk:373550351082848267>

Very.

I think you guys imagine I look like Gabe Newell or something.

I was thinkin' more gunzerker from BD2

kek

but manlet

"Handlets BTFO"

Oh is that his name?

Gay Ben, yeah.

Thats pretty much my mental picture except a bit thinner and longer hair.

<:alismirk:230784726615588865> keep that image. It'll make sneaking up on you that much easier.

mfw got an ethics assignment about how to demonstrate professionalism

my writing feels like a markov chain

When you smell the Energy-drink scented breath, you'll know your life is over.

@Hiruzen whenever someone says "Markov Chain" or other similarly virginal shit, their mother cries out in pain. Stop it.

Someone at work the other day asked me when the Pollack would be done cooking, and I said "I dunno. I haven't looked at it recently", and she said "haha. Schrodinger's fish!"

I was mildly upset.

If someone at the workplace is making you feel uncomfortable, simply report them to HR and they will not bother you again!

👌

<:remthink:560157665586839552>

@Hiruzen how to demonstrate professionalism: an Australian guide

step 1: be an uppity twat
step 2: be an even bigger twat
step 3: get curbstomped by some hard cunt who drives a wrx

@Droidbot I'm the ultimate azn monk atm, lugging 20kg worth of fridge 3 km since fuck paying for shipping

absolute chad

is that like

a bar fridge?

yep

fuck this thing has zero grip

it doesn't even have those side holes

that's what you get for buying a chink barfridge

...

Are you retarded?

no, just poor

No, I mean do you not have access to a store with rope to make a pack?

Or just bed sheets?

I carry my hoversack on my back already

and no, no ropes

fuck this thing is slippery

@johnfrum I...didn't think of bedsheets

I thought you were a chink, this is basic chinkery.

normally I just use the holes at the side

Fuck everything I want is more expensive because of US plugs

tfw no holes

<:angeryturt:538725038346731540>

I gotta stop every couple of minutes because there's zero fucking grip and I'm too shoulderlet to bearhug carry it

fuck

So instead of taking five minutes to think about how to move this big bulky thing you decided to try to be a big guy and move it with sheer retard strength

@Hiruzen ya could have spent $10 more and got it delivered on appliancesonline

@Droidbot I gotta do it after office hours since they don't technically allow fridges at my place