Its hard and stressful to not be comfortable in your own body

It is

Like you can never relax

I personally had to literally look like a skeleton to realize I liked my body with a bit of chub anyway

Always holding in some part of yourself never being able to be just Unconsciously comfortably sitting there

Yep

It takes a lot out of you mentally

i feel like i eat so little because i struggle keeping *what* i eat in check but im better at keeping the amount in check

i feel like the more i lose

To be so self conscious and aware

the more i strive to lose afterwards

Do you have a lack of appetite

like oh thats cool then i keep going

not rly

Worst part, for me, a small part still wants to go back to having a flat stomach despite me feeling like shit when I lost weight

i drink a *lot* of water to satisfy it

Uh huh

Also thats a typical facet in Eating disorders
For a lot of people its about the control aspect as well

Which would make sense considering the lack of control you have with your parents being

Your parents

i used to steal from my parents alcohol stash and down hella whiskey and shit but i dont even do that now which i guess is good but

its bc im trying to cut down a fuckton

Oof @arsonist low key get you there about not being able to control the food quality

and that's the only rzn i have

Something structured something to maintain

yeah like

nothing else in my life is maintained or steady i feel like this is my only option

Have you tried eating protein?

Like, eggs and nuts and fish

That stuff?

Can you afford it?

ive tried focusing on just eating eggs and stuff like that

Eggs r good breakfasty

we have rly good buttery bread rolls i ate one last night andi want another but i kno i shouldnt

so i might just make an egg

Bruh, I eat egg every morning since my full food privileges came bavk

Eggs>>>>

Even gave my body bit of a form

is it bad to throw a cheese in there tho

No not at all

It's hard to need to press on your parents for things they should be willing to provide and help you with
But you gotta press on them for the things you want and need
Understand the parent child dynamic. Learn how to be flexible
The weird give and take