I love black people

It's so super cool when they come in

I stare at the ground and giggle to myself

While they "n-word" this and "n-word" that

Haha wouldn't want to upset them too much or make them think I'm racist

Might physically assault me

One time this super based black dude felt disrespected that I was making the person in front of him's drink before taking his order for a drink

So he just took the whole tip jar

Based

I'm glad he got his reparations

Oh, these groups of super cool black kids used to buy 40 or so 10 dollar gift cards at once

Using a variety of credit cards

My niggas

Scammas

And then take advantage of a state law that allowed them to redeem any gift card under 10 dollars for cash

True working men

So entrepreneurial!

They must have such good credit

What the fuck

What state?

Oh I like the super based black guys that walk in and snatch laptops whole people are sitting down

So cool!

California lmao

Oh

You work at a Starbucks in CA or something?

Your being very racist, my niga

Yikes

Yeah lmao

I’m sorry my guy

But the Starbucks CAG are on their way

You have not made enough Peppermint Mocha Frapps to outrun them

Oh let me tell you about this whacky zany African-American outside

he stands outside and asks everybody coming in to buy him a muffin and a coffee

and tells them that he hasn't eaten all day

and the people come in and make sure to mention that they're buying "for the guy outside"

and he likes to wipe his ass with the toilet seat covers and throw them on the ground

based I tell you

When I was in San Francisco in 2015 I had to stay up all night after driving because my bitch baby friend didn’t want to stay at the AirBnB in Oakland

So when Starbucks opened up I got a hella coffee, stepped outside and lit up a cigarette and as I was lighting it something to my right caught my eye

"AYO MAN"

A homeless man taking a fat shit 4 feet away at 7 in the morning