But short term, my actions will benefit myself in some way

If you don't know what benefits you, your actions are more likely to hinder you.

Then i can change my self-interest to adapt to the situation

If your interests change, then you never improve or own yourself.

You would sooner shift the goalposts than learn to score goals.

Even if you shift the goal, it's no guarantee that you'll ever score.

If it works in favor of what i currently believe in it helps

What do you believe?

Someone who doesn't know their own interests has no beliefs.

In reality, your beliefs are the governing dynamic of your interests.

I believe in bettering myself

Morality is to ethics as beliefs are to interests.

You don't know how to better yourself.

You lack conviction.

If i believe it helps me it does

Heroine addicts believe drugs help them.

And they do, in the moment it is achieving how they want to feel

But addicts let the drugs own them

Instead of owning the drugs

Just like you let ignorance own you.

You're ok with not knowing what you want.

That's all because you don't have what you need.

All i know is that i want to improve myself

Yet you fail to recognize what an improvement is.

Willfully.

What do i gain from recognizing it?

Improvement itself...accomplishment and inevitable evolution.

All of which stems from conviction.

Absolute morality.

God.

If i recognize an authority above me that i must abide to i lose ownership of myself

Morality is ownership of oneself.

Morality is a constraint

No, it is freedom.

You will do as you please without having a second thought.

You will never think of the "what" ever again.

Only the "why" and "how".

Imagine never hesitating.

That is the power of conviction.

The power of God.

As a human being, you are bound by one thing...judgement.