Sure. Although, I don't like being around my family, so I tend to hide away from them at a cost...

I didn't say ask your family for help <:killerkitty:713910263056957472>

Help yourself by taking care of yourself

It pushes me to stay couped up

Bruh you're making excuses not to fix your life and then you complain about your life and problems you could mitigate

Well, i never really confide in my family and Soul always was overwhelmed by me so I couldn't talk to her. Sometimes as much as we all hate councelors and therapists and social workers cuz they aren't very personal, just getting it all out with them can help. You just have to get passed your inhibitions

I have a therapist, but I don't discuss deep things at all. I am on guard against being engulfed, so to bring up a wave of baggage is something I try to avoid. I easily get discouraged so bringing up stuff is unhelpful. I'd like a close friend ideally, but I am my own worst enemy for making that happen

Simple for you to say, but not to understand

Hmm
Do you remember the first thing I told you about myself?

I don't quite recall

Regarding abuse

I'll be honest, I've forgotten

You know the thing <:YouKnowTheThing:723005092764319776>

DM me

Sorry my phone died. I will say I'm a bit jealous that you even have a therapist. Though i have had many councelors and social workers tell my parents i need one, i was never able to get one. It doesn't help having a therapist if you ain't even gonna open up about your deeper issues ngl. Sometimes it's hard to make a good friend that you can confide in if you expect too much from them right off the bat, like expecting that you can just talk about anything. Of course you probably don't do that, but just letting people into your life despite all your fears of how it'll go down can bring something good, and if it doesn't work, then its just a part of how people come and go

I can make casual friends alright, but I don't know for the life of me how to make close friends. I am already quite sensitive, so going through more potential turmoil eeks me out. I am not the best people person

I was never able to make casual friends or close friends until recently. Sometimes you have to poke around your current friend group to see who will be at least a little bit okay to confide in. I'm a very VERY sensitive person and the only way I could become close to anyone was by letting them confide in me first ngl. That might not work for you but if they feel comfortable on that level with you in conversation, it might be helpful. Of course with your current state of mind, i don't how much of that would be a good idea, cuz you can't take more than you already have, but most people will be more empathetic if someone else is to them as well.

But again, you have a whole life ahead of you so don't forget that things at this age might not be permanent, so you just have to try and keep your head up

Yeah, I follow the same doctrine. Letting others confide in me is how I approach such matters. Hopefully me being difficult to deal with isn't turning people away, which would be heartbreaking to say the least. I hope one day things are better, however sincd I easily get discouraged it's very tough to know

I mean, as far as I know you, which... is obviously not much, I don't think you have a turn away personality, and I deal much in the same way of letting others confide in me and then it never comes from my mouth.

And speaking of making friends... my only close friend for a long while I met on GaiaOnline/an RP forum more than ten years ago. We, oddly enough, ran with the same handful of people who usually wrote together, but we never talked to each other for 2-4 years... then suddenly we were in a roleplay together, then we were plotting

then we had writing chemistry... and we just kept following each other to new roleplays... and then talked outside of character... and I've never been able to make friends in a normal way. but it'll happen

That's kinda how i got my bff. We messed around and jokes and eventually it became a closer friendship

That's good to know

Yee, i find you interesting to talk to so there has to be someone out there that'll want to be close to you one day

Aww thanks

Np

And talking to you has made me laugh. IDK. You come off as interesting, smart, and funny. So. The disconnect and loneliness from people can be intense, but at least you are enjoyable online lmao

Yeah, being online helps me get past social anxieties. That part is soo nice to have

Same. In person, I almost always worry about if I crossed a line I didn't notice social cues for and then think I'm stupid for saying anything.

SO I FEEL YOU.

High five my n... no wait friend 😁

Yeah i have never been this social except on the internet. Almost no inhibitions. Idk if that's a good or bad thing tho

I think it's good. IDK. I think people play too many games in person and fear being themselves.

But you have the chance to be more honest online because we're all less afraid to be judged by faceless pixels

It's not a bad thing, we need time by ourselves to process things. Also, we prefer closer friends too

Yeah, I'm a bit more care free and silly here. Kinda refreshing cuz I'm super bossy in real life<:KEK:795742276549607456>

Online interaction is typically of a persona, so it's not unheard of

WELL I'm glad the people here feel free enough to show us their sadistic and masochistic true selves lmao

lol