Naw, you're just jumpy

Nuh uh

You ever feel like you have bad breath?

Why not breath into a jar?

Introducing:

***BREATH JAR***

the breath jar is slim and compactible so perfect to carry on the go, now you can make your breath smell like anything you want, anywhere you want. It’s stylish, sexy, and strong, and it’s compact breathilization technology will make you look on fleek with the cutting edge of technology
Not only that, but we are coming out with the breath jar mini’s stick it in your mouth, and make your breath smell as glorious as can be, with minimal fuss.

Buff macho man: oh crap I’m late to work, I forgot to brush my teeth, good things I have my breath jar! I’ve been saved from a day of embarrassment! *breaths into breath jar*

Group of Blonde girls outside his car window: omg, is that a breath jar?! That’s so sexy, like oh my gawd.

Cuts to a scene of him marrying one of the blonde groupies, they both have breath jars, everyone at the wedding has a breath jar, they breath into the jars at the same time

buff macho guy from before: now breath jar comes in manly flavors, like jerky or mint!

Cuts to blonde girl with her breath jar

Blonde girl: or womanly flavors of breath, like rosemary, or cocktails!

Little boy with his breath jar: or kid flavors, like lollipop or wedding cake

Gay guy: or gay flavors, like lavender

Whole town holding up breath jars: *breath jars are for everyone!*

Order your breath jar for 19.99, buy 2 and get an included breath jar mini, that’s 50 dollars in value, for only 39.98!
But there’s more! Order 3 breath jars and get the exclusive breath jar deluxe set! That’s twice the value, for half the price!

Call for more information

I saw a doctor and everything

I wrote that while high off my ass

They gave it a long ass name that i couldn't remember and everything

Go a while dropping it, you'll realize you're missing out on nothing

I tried<:CursedEmoji:763140778770825247>

I'm chewing on a soda can tab rn<:KEK:726877368601411624>

Ooo yikes

Not

But it is indeed time for bed

Gn to everyone except the FUCKING BLUEBELLIES

Not even 1 AM Eastern

You're not a gamer

I have to work tomorrow

Get a job bum

I have a job numnut

Evening hours gang

So bored

Ey me too.

Buy some records

Listen to them in the evening

I'm broke

Plus why

Records?

Yeah

No I'm good

I love my music so much I buy an obsolete medium

Wow

Cool

Umm, sorry I dont own a museum I dont have anything to play them.

You use a 'turntable'

So boring at night

I am way to broke for that. I work at a middle school.

I dont work

Bruh I got one for $50, brand new

Yet

You can get one at walmart

I can barely afford food as it is.

That sucks