You euthanize broken dogs.

Obviously metaphorical. 👀

Hello FBI.

Like father like son.

my dog has eaten toothpicks, they were in bacon thingies

ouch

Your dog is smarter than you if that's all he does.

dogs are worth it

People are also expensive.

Cost-benefit analysis.

my dog is always worth it

big boye

I'm a reptile person.

i like snakes, but im more of a mammal person

tarantulas are too mainstream get a centipede

Cats pretend to care about you, dogs are conditioned to care about you. With reptiles there's no pretense. They're there to be cool and for your benefit.

They don't care about you and you don't care about them.

so dont get bitten or stung

I want a snake that weighs more than me.

my dog loves me no matter what, i love her no matter what, i give her food, protection, and love, she gives me happiness, protection and exercise

dogs can kill you

Snakes won't kill you if you feed them. Have you seen how animals act in zoos?

Zookeepers don't give a fuck.

Arachnids are Jews.

fuck scorpions

Fuck jews and arachnids

What about jews?

They sting you no matter what

And most never realize it

Some species of snake reach more than 200 pounds.

That is badass.

by sting do you mean steal money

That's part of it

Burmese pythons reach 400 pounds.

That is four Irmas.

Badass.

Do the based Burmese Buddhists release 400 pound pythons on Burmese SJWs?

I would want a king cobra if I got a venemous snake.

That's not true.

Most snakes blend into their environment because birds regularly prey on them and because they're ambush predators. They aren't fast.

Bizarre coloration is not true for snakes as a deterrent.