I have been pretending so much of my life that its like, what is the real me (as edgy as it sounds)

would you want a woman who hasnt figured herself out, and is lost in the sauce?

put yourself in her shoes

no good woman will ever want you until you handle that

I guess its kinda selfish to want someone figured out to help save me lmao

absolutely

not just selfish but unwise

Well, I used to know what I wanted

I'm thinking of trying to join the air force

if you dont know what you want just start doing things

*anything*

your life is not so far along that you cant change it if anything

And if I do my life might go much different than what it could or should be

if youre saying youre thinking about it youre not gonna do it

say "im gonna join the air force" and work towards it

if you change your mind before you do its fine

make an informed commitment to something though

Well, I'm still losing the weight required

ok good

so i dunno how i can make my preferences

Then I can get the AFOQT setup

physical health helps with emotional health btw

They literally wont let me even talk about taking the test until I meet the weight lmao

well, ofc

I guess I'm worried that if I join the Air Force and get passionate

I will probably never leave

Which means a life going solo in terms of relationships

Basically its a choice of life passion or a relationship

you can do both

my wifes father is a career military man, a colonel

my mother and father in law are a happy couple

if it becomes a problem you can leave

goddammit

I'm very duty bound as a person. I'd rather suffer than do something I consider "selfish"

So if it got in the way, I probably wouldn't leave

your country isnt asking you to forego all of that rn

moreover, think of yourself as having a duty to have a posterity to invest in

i just want to change my preference

of my ideal sexual partner

because hams