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BREAKING: While on Summer Vacation, A 14-Year-Old Brett Kavanaugh was a Sniper in the Rhodesian Bush War

by Schmuley Ben Shekelheim

Though Kavanaugh has curated an image of a good boy, it turns out he is a racist killer and cannibal

While Brett Kavanaugh has been celebrated as a prime student at Georgetown prep, it has been revealed that between his freshman and sophomore year in 1979, he flew to Rhodesia to work as a sniper for the white racists murdering innocent blacks during the Rhodesian Bush War, The New Yorker has confirmed.

When Kavanaugh heard of the signing of the Internal Settlement by Ian Smith in June of that year, he immediately boarded a plane bound for South Africa, where he crossed the border into what is now Zimbabwe with a plan to “kill as many niggers as possible and defend the global supremacy of the white race.”

Multiple sources confirmed that Kavanaugh was known as “The Drunken White Terror,” due to the fact that he was frequently drunk on sniping missions. Despite consuming extreme amounts of Irish whiskey and often blacking out while on sniping missions, he managed to rack up 38 confirmed kills.

“He be true da nightmare came living in,” said one Zimbabwean who wished to remain nameless. “If’n you seed da man his head go pop, you knowed it be da Drinken Terror.”

Another victimized African man, who also chose to remain nameless, confirmed that beyond murder, Kavanaugh had other evil behaviors. According to this other guy, he would singlehandedly gang-rape dozens of women while blacked-out drunk, a story which further confirms other claims made against Kavanaugh with regards to his being a drunken gang-rapist.

A different guy told The New Yorker that the 14-year-old Kavanaugh burned an entire village of black people in their huts, lighting the whole place up with kerosene.
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PenSHITLORD

2018-10-03 01:30:48 UTC [Turtle Hermit School #the-world-tournament-text]

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“He be laugh at da chilrin as dey scrim,” said this guy, who saw it happen while hiding in a bush. He described Kavanaugh chugging Jameson straight from the bottle and singing “Danny Boy” as he watched children burn alive.

Brett Kavanaugh, right, pictured with other white racist fighters

Another guy we spoke to, who wished to remain anonymous, said that Kavanaugh engaged in cannibalism, slitting the throat of a Zimbabwean child and cutting out his heart and eating it while blackout drunk.

Kavanaugh called Ian Smith a “cowardly race traitor” and vowed that some day Rhodesia would once again be forced under the rule of “the white master race.”

Ian Smith did not immediately respond to request for comment on this story. Robert Mugabe, when contacted by The New Yorker, said that it was all true.

Along with bringing up questions of Kavanaugh’s character, the revelations that he used sniping, gang-rape, village burning and cannibalism against Zimbabweans brings into question whether he would be able to rule impartially on matters dealing with Zimbabwe which could come before the nation’s highest court.
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