H-hewwo?

btw dont eat your own shit it tastes bad

Blue. All Barack could think about was blue. Blue, blue, and more blue. Having dinner with Michelle, his eyes drifted past her silent yet moving lips and to the blue tinted painting behind her. Giving a press conference, he could barely focus as the blue of his Vice-President’s tie stood out at him. Taunted him, even. He’s not here!, the color seemed to say, And he won’t ever be. You missed your chance.

Ever since that fateful day when Barack stepped into that train station and saw the soft, blue, sensual curves, he hadn’t been able to think about anything but Thomas, much less focus on his presidential duties. He remembered his first time seeing him vividly: the big, black and white eyes, shining with innocence yet somehow naughtily playful. The ever raised high eyebrows. And the long, hard, steam engine protruding from Thomas’ head. Barack stopped in his tracks. He had never seen something so beautiful, so remarkable, yet so simple at the same time. Thomas’ beauty was obvious in such a way that it almost seemed complicated.

Barack realized that he hadn’t moved in almost a minute. His team of Secret Service agents were giving him strange looks. He hastily took a step forward, trying to walk at a normal, relaxed pace. He realized that his steps were guiding him towards the train, even though his brain was telling him not to. He briefly considered not talking to the beautiful creature in front of him but decided that a chance like this was too good to pass up, even if it meant weirding out his entourage.

Barack approached the train. “Hello.”, he barely got out, his voice uncharacteristically cracking. For once in his life, he was at a loss for words.

The engine slowly moved his large eyes towards the tall, caramel colored man in front of him. Dressed in a suit, he surely looked professional, but his sweating face betrayed his thoughts. Thomas was stunned- no one had ever looked at him like this before! He collected his thoughts. “Hello. And who are you?”

Barack was stunned by Thomas’ coy and sexy voice. “I’m Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States. And you are?”

“Thomas the Tank Engine.” Barack was flabbergasted at how lovely the name sounded. He could sing it loud, and it would be like music playing. But when he whispered “Thomas” under his breath, it was almost like praying.

“Thomas, I am a very important man in my country. I have privileges that you couldn’t imagine, and I’m very wealthy to boot. I don’t do this often- well, never- but the fact is, I feel like we have a connection, and a deep one at that. I would like to offer you a spot on the train back in my private jet. I feel like we need some time to… develop this relationship.” Barack knew the words coming out of his mouth were forward, and, considering that Michelle was waiting at home, unethical, but he couldn’t stop the flow of language simply spilling out of his mouth.

👌 👐 👌

♿ 🇼 ♿

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👁 🇼 👁

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🔄 🇼 🔄

So this is the story about the saddest day of my life. It began as any other weekday. I was going to school and my mom was making sandwiches for my lunch. Suddenly, she collapsed. I jumped to her and put my ear near her face to check if she was breathing. Nothing. Silence. Next I checked her pulse. I couldn't tell if it was her pulse or if it was my hand twitching from all the stress I was going through. I called 911. They told me to resuscitate her as they sent an ambulance to my place. I was doing all I could to save her but by the time the ambulance came... she was already tracer.

Aye bruv #YIFF GANG 😤 😤 😤 😤