*You have bathtub gin? here take my daughter*

Lol

Dude worst feeling ever, being out n about without asswipe

Mhmm

I was once in a bind in a 3rd world shit hole

I had to use hesco barrier canvas to wipe. Never again.

Oof

It unbeknownst to me at the time has fiberglass in it

I bet most of them doomsday prepper types have completely forgotten about ass health

I had an old uniform blouse I cut up

Still sucked

I wasn’t about to use a sock. Should have though

^^

Oh no, not fiberglass. That shit sucks

So story time

Fiberglass on your asshole is the 3rd worst pain I’ve ever felt

*gather round the campfire, to hear some story time*

Was out taking a dump when I started hearing rustling noises

Brb. Gotta cart my dog and his kennel up to my room.

Out of nowhere a couple of [redacted] popped up while I was sitting there taking a shit

So I was half fighting half running with my pants around my fucking ankles

Lmao

Fell into a trench and my buddies took care of the rest lol

And hear I thought getting caught with your pants down was an expression

Nah

Sadly it be true

Never went anywhere without a battle buddy after that

I bet

Like i thought that shit was gay til it happened lol

Lmao

Im takin a shit *S A V E M E E*

Fuck off lmao

Luckily I can look back and laugh

Thatd been embarrassing to explain at the pearly gates

Lmao

Yeah that was worth waiting to read

I think the only way it'd be worse is if you were rubbing one out, and then got laid out

Lmao

Hey, don’t discount a good combat jerk

Sometimes you've gotta destress

You might get to pull off the forbidden skullfuck technique. Imagine that one in an after action report