Mom I want to shoot myself. It should be fine. Once I rent my own apartment, Iโll do it. By then I would presumably have my own job and enough money to buy a gun and a few bullets. Maybe I wonโt even need to buy a gun. No, I wouldnโt want to have anyone feel guilty about unknowingly giving me the gun I use to shoot myself. I want to end my life without burdening anyone else. My family would be fine with it, My Mom and Dad will have to wait a little longer for grandchildren. Otherwise, everything will be fine. Hopefully I will still have no social activity so my sudden disappearance will be of little relevance
I want to stop living because I donโt want to be anything when I grow older. The idea of ending my life makes me feel happy. I donโt want to tell either of my parents. Dad would get mad at me and yell or ask me why and make me feel stupid like he always does. Mom would get emotional and also ask me why or try to blame it on other people or herself to make me feel worse and guilt trip me out of doing it. Or sheโll get mad and yell. My whole life I have been as obedient as possible to those two. This constant obedience is possibly the reason why I act so humbly or feel so inferior. I live in fear constantly. Iโm afraid of everything
