im-already-in-a-relationship
Discord ID: 436337800405581824
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^^^ literally my situation for the past 5 years
Just ended it yesterday
I feel liberated
Glad to hear that. Not sure how to tag you.
Yeah, fix your name Pinoche Ball @๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐#2036
And how do you know if you should stay or leave?
@Pinochetball ^^^
Cant the mods fix my name independently in each server? If i change it doesnt it change it in every server?
It can't be read on phones because of the font
Im on a phone lol
all we see is boxes with questionmarks in them
Ill change it
Thats lame af
My phone displays it fine. Man... ghey
K gimme a min
Better?
No change?
Legible
Cool
Why has nobody else told me lmao
Its been like that for like two weeks ๐
@Pinochetball I think @Rick alluded to it
he wasn't sure how to tag you
probably whoever let you in the server has the same phone as you
Well in all the other servers im in nobody said anything other than "hey did you change your name?"
Oh well
@Pat-MA how do you know if you should leave? Ask yourself if you want to have kids with her. If not, bail.
@Pat-MA basically this. If you've been together so many years you have to figure out what you want for both of your sakes, and as @Deleted User said the natural objective of a relationship is the family
Good takes, goys.
Gf canโt understand why I donโt like it when she drinks and smokes marijuana. I have no problem if she has a drink or two at brunch, mostly the smoking I donโt like. When I give her a hard time she thinks I am trying to change who she is. Anyone else ever deal with this?
Yeah, I don't have a moral problem with weed per say, but habitual use does make you retarded. Smoking in general is unhygienic, a big turn off when females do it.
Maybe Iโm being too rigid...
She has toned it down a lot since meeting me
I wouldn't say you are trying to change who she is, smoking is a superficial thing, and superficial things aren't part of a person's core attributes.
Exactly. She doesnโt want to hear it though
Idk man, if she seems to make an effort about toning it down for you that's good though.
I used to date some people who smoked weed. I know people who smoke once a month and some once a day. One of the most degenerate things I have ever heard was my buddy in college would smoke with his mom and his dad would buy drugs off his friends. I'm not saying that is where things are headed, but the older you get, the less it should be used and there should be a drop off point
Fortunately, that is the direction its going
Weed culture is arguably worse than weed itself
^This
I remember my one experience with pot pretty vividly, I tried and immediately felt pity for the people that had to fuck themselves up this much every day just to cope with reality.
For sure, every transaction is a brush with the law. Not something you would want in a waifu.
Maybe you could try just slowly transitioning her away from it by telling her about the toxicity of the culture
Most people who smoke know it's bad for them and know it's not good culturally. Unless they're major shitlibs who watch AJ+ regularly and think the word marijuana has racial connotations, lmao. I believe that you should keep a record how many times she smokes in a month or two and then you have a proper baseline. See if she can reduce it further and you'll do something for her. Don't make it about how you feel about it culturally. Make it about her health.
@Virgil i think i am doing that at least unconciously a bit. She had a tough home situation growing up- divorced parents, didnt feel loved by her mom, and definitely uses it to cope whether she knows it or not.
Ok yeah Iโll stress her health. But she still says well I can do what I want! Like a little girl
You ever think maybe there's too many red flags you're overlooking?
Maybe you could try introducing her to a new hobby or activity that could help her cope. Like biking, cooking, mma or something to that effect.
Its tough to get her into something new as she is a stubborn irish girl haha. And @TV i did notice some red flags, but I believe the positives greatly outweigh those. And she did have a difficult family situation, so if we were to have a daughter I would not let that happen, and I donโt believe she would either
Marijuana is gay
We have fun, works a ton and very hard, enjoy each others company, takes care of me and vice versa
You need to patrol her
Shes honest truthful and punctual
What do you mean stephanie
Do you wanna marry her and have her be the mother of your kids??
Yeah as long as she doesnโt smoke
Be in charge of her.. if you want her to quit make her quit lol
Have you ever dealt with the stubborn irish?
Maybe tell her you intend to marry her and have her be the mother of your children and you canโt have her smoke if thatโs the case
Ok
Yes my bf @Whitelash is a stubborn nibba but I got him to stop smoking by nagging
Nice
Alright then
Yessss ^
Ultimately, you are in charge
is she the type of woman to accept that?
Or is she a feminist
if she knows youโre in charge then itโs easy
^
Shes not a feminist haha but she does not like being told what to do. But neither do I
No one likes being told what to do
but still she needs to know her place
True
Girls will argue all the time, but if they value you they'll cooperate
If sheโs been smoking habitually then she isnโt gonna stop easily so even if she agrees to stop itโs gonna be a challenge
If you tell her to stop and sheโs goes on a feminist rant saying you canโt tell her what to do then you have a big problemo
Maybe it would be good to tell her that you care about her and thatโs why you need her to stop
Because you want a future with her
Ok...
Yeah she always argues when i bring it up but she has been slowing down throughout the relationship
Argues how?
Does she downplay it that itโs not a big deal?
Honestly just tell her sheโs being a degenerate
be nice about it tho
Yeah she doesnt think theres anything wrong with it
thatโs an issue then
But it was the life she grew up with
does she think she can be a proper mother and wife by abusing substances ?
Does she prioritize marriage and motherhood?
Well if i bring that up she says she wont do it if we had kids
start there and everything else will come into place
We all have to outgrow childish things.
Yeah I just want her to outgrow it
How old she is?
26
Oh
Wtfffff
lol
Nope
like Iโm 20 and I never did any of that stuff and Iโve always been geared towards marriage and motherhood
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