Yeah sure @Mr.Plague

How do you wipe your ass so violently?

Anyway, was the poop black or nah?

Nah

If the poop was black it's an upper intestinal problem

That’ll tell me if it’s internal or hemorrhoids

Brown and red

Brown an red

Right

So

The red will be blood in the mucosal coating

That's fine

If it's bright red its hemorrhoid

Stop wiping your ass so vigorously and use a cushion to sit down.

reenact the scene from IT with blood spraying around the bathroom but instead of it coming from the sink it comes from your asshole

wow

Okay...

that sounds pretty nice to watch actually

I eat a lot of junk and my shit is hard and big and it causes my hemorrhoids

Then eat better

Probably a good idea

Literally stop eating shit

Not exactly rocket science

I guess it's your own fault then

No more cheese

eat more fibre, drink more water

ill call Jordan Peterson

I say as I start my second piece of breakfast pizza

Eat some grapes nigga

and fruit, occasionally

That's what I ate for breakfast

Pizza

More cheese

*consume the cheese*

Water is actually a really important thing most people miss, can cause really bad constipation or otherwise solid shits

“If you feel thirsty, you’re already dehydrated”

^

Yeah I need to stop drink pop and drink water

If you're struggling to shit drink more water in the first instance

Always drink water constantly

I only shit blood if I drink a pint of whiskey before bed