You will never pass. You will lock yourself away in your home and become more and more bitter and delusional as you desperately try to convince yourself that you look like a woman. Your only friends, and I use that word very lightly, will be fellow castrated men who will also be suffering the same regret and mental anguish over their poorly thought out decision. The entirety of your friendship will be mutual reassurance that you didn’t make a mistake and discussing how to make other people fuck up as bad as you did so you won’t be alone in your misery. But you will be alone, even around other people. Always alone in your head, always suspicious of what others really think about you, always knowing the truth that they are only humoring you out of pity. Despised by all, hideous, a freak. Incapable of having love, a family, or genuine human connections. Slowly slowly slowly your grip on reality will slip away until, on the rare moment you are forced to confront it, it will be such a shock to you, such a painful reminder of what you actually are that the intrusive thoughts will hijack your every waking moment.
