You'll get there. Get home and get some much needed rest. We'll be here every step of the way.

https://youtu.be/PaZ1EmPOE_k

This one was a good watch. With the way the world is, it's easier than ever to despair. I am one bleak fuck, and I probably downed an entire bottle of blackpills by now. Then I have brief moments of enlightenment, reasons to keep going, reasons that give hope. Even if it's a momentary fleeting feeling. It's something, I guess.

The best thing to do during times of self doubt and reflection is realise that despite your current situation, you're most likley doing better than the people who have either hurted you, betrayed you, who you hate, or just realising that your mostlikley doing better than most people in general. This can honestly help give you a boost in confidence and can give you hope in the long run. The story i posted yesterday is a good example of that. Try to look at the positives whenever you can as that can help keep you from falling into the void

^but legit, that's a good way to think about things as you move forward in life

@country doggo I know that feel. I also drive. What I want though is a laboratory/workshop. Just tinker away all day. I do what I do for a living because I can just blank out during it. I want more fulfilling and meaningful work, but getting paid $25/hr to do something which a coma patient could nearly accomplish makes it too easy to stay.

If I want better than that I'm looking at years of 'paying my dues' somewhere playing bitch boy and sucking ass for promotions.

Every fucking year though I spend time looking for something else.

But none of what I can get pays even close to that for my time.

pretty well only masters+ gigs will pay better

I've turned down software jobs because they were a major pay cut over delivering fucking pizzas

I'm at a point where I've accepted that if I'm going to do anything different I'm going to start my own business/make my own product.

If I can ever kick myself in the ass hard enough to care.

Made multiple runs at games, shit always gets fucked with the art. Either I burn out on it or the artist flakes when shit starts getting real.

Now... I'm not so sure.

I'm more leaning towards exploitation of the stupid rich.

Fuck anything worthwhile, just dumb rich people give me your money, because you're going to waste it anyway, and I won't.

@Sleepy on games you gotta start slow, like on a distro or A.S. for a known game

i've done modding before, was involved with a handful of projects

That's how you learn how to deal with the hellspawn called player.

i'm not a 101

My problem is I love code, and the art I love doing is not the art that's needed for games.

So if I have to do art: it will take me eons

And I don't enjoy it because I don't enjoy making objective art.

U Like pixel art?

here's an older one

Hmm

I don't identify as a 'creative'

Internally what I do is sequence or process, at least on half of it.

Other half is abstract.

Draw lines and make decisions later.

Later today I'll show you a project of mine

Baphomet make up of itterated neon retards:

<:KEK:465443054254424065> <:KEK:465443054254424065> <:KEK:465443054254424065> <:KEK:465443054254424065> <:KEK:465443054254424065>

For real, I'm gonna make this project I'm on a non profit of sorts

I'll donate either 50 or 70% of all profit for a very large cancer hospital we have here

Treats over 13k people for free

Look into virotherapy