Message from @Sleepy

Discord ID: 587737194031087768


2019-06-10 16:48:15 UTC  

Wish I was in bio-med tbh.

2019-06-10 17:09:13 UTC  

I know that feel. It's hard to believe it's been so long since leaving high school. Time just passes me by, and I wonder where it all went.

2019-06-10 17:19:24 UTC  

Do y'all ever have that feeling where you know you're a talanted professional and have mastered many things and have overall experienced alot in life, yet you still feel like a scared and confused child?

2019-06-10 17:19:58 UTC  

Like I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough and how the fuck did I get in this truck?

2019-06-10 17:42:40 UTC  

Go to college

2019-06-10 17:44:03 UTC  

That's probably a common problem a lot of people face. Well, at least self-aware people. There is only so much information we can retain, and we will never know everything there is to know. I feel that it's probably a reminder of the limitation of our mortality. I'm not particularly skilled at a great deal of things, and while it sucks that there are things I will never understand or get to experience; I am at least thankful for the experiences I have had.

It's kind of a common question when possible time travel discussions come up:
"If you could go back in time and fix things that you fucked up, which events would you change?"

Hardship is unfortunately part of life, and shitty things do happen.
I always answered "I wouldn't change anything."

Everything an individual faces is responsible for who we are today, and why things may not always seem ideal, it's not something we have to endure alone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that we suffer, and sure, there are always people worse off. This doesn't invalidate our own hardships. Self-doubt affects me as well, getting some of the highest work commendations and being endlessly praised for my innovation to troubleshoot issues; and despite that... I never feel like the things I do are the best I can do.

I routinely feel that everything I do is pointless and a waste of time, and that I'm just making excuses for myself to ward myself away from suicidal tendencies. "Oh, grandpa would be disappointed if I threw away his legacy.", "If people at work rely on me, I have a purpose.",

I can't say I know you particularly well, Doggo; but you're a good guy from what I've seen. Depression and existentialism are a part of the world now, moreso than ever before. Tackling your demons is never easy, but don't give up dude. You're our nigger, nigger. You matter to us.

2019-06-10 17:44:20 UTC  

Actually don’t go to college

2019-06-10 17:46:21 UTC  

Thanks dude @Higura

2019-06-10 17:47:01 UTC  

I'm just stressed by being in this truck so long, I just wanna go home for a while

2019-06-10 17:47:36 UTC  

I'm going home the 14, feels so close yet so far

2019-06-10 17:48:00 UTC  

I'm halfway across the country and still have a few more jobs to run

2019-06-10 17:51:06 UTC  

You'll get there. Get home and get some much needed rest. We'll be here every step of the way.

2019-06-10 17:55:02 UTC  
2019-06-10 18:00:59 UTC  

This one was a good watch. With the way the world is, it's easier than ever to despair. I am one bleak fuck, and I probably downed an entire bottle of blackpills by now. Then I have brief moments of enlightenment, reasons to keep going, reasons that give hope. Even if it's a momentary fleeting feeling. It's something, I guess.

2019-06-10 18:08:39 UTC  

The best thing to do during times of self doubt and reflection is realise that despite your current situation, you're most likley doing better than the people who have either hurted you, betrayed you, who you hate, or just realising that your mostlikley doing better than most people in general. This can honestly help give you a boost in confidence and can give you hope in the long run. The story i posted yesterday is a good example of that. Try to look at the positives whenever you can as that can help keep you from falling into the void

2019-06-10 18:11:20 UTC  

^but legit, that's a good way to think about things as you move forward in life

2019-06-10 20:15:51 UTC  

@country doggo I know that feel. I also drive. What I want though is a laboratory/workshop. Just tinker away all day. I do what I do for a living because I can just blank out during it. I want more fulfilling and meaningful work, but getting paid $25/hr to do something which a coma patient could nearly accomplish makes it too easy to stay.

2019-06-10 20:16:18 UTC  

If I want better than that I'm looking at years of 'paying my dues' somewhere playing bitch boy and sucking ass for promotions.

2019-06-10 20:17:13 UTC  

Every fucking year though I spend time looking for something else.

2019-06-10 20:17:34 UTC  

But none of what I can get pays even close to that for my time.

2019-06-10 20:17:46 UTC  

pretty well only masters+ gigs will pay better

2019-06-10 20:18:21 UTC  

I've turned down software jobs because they were a major pay cut over delivering fucking pizzas

2019-06-10 20:20:46 UTC  

I'm at a point where I've accepted that if I'm going to do anything different I'm going to start my own business/make my own product.

2019-06-10 20:21:02 UTC  

If I can ever kick myself in the ass hard enough to care.

2019-06-10 20:22:10 UTC  

Made multiple runs at games, shit always gets fucked with the art. Either I burn out on it or the artist flakes when shit starts getting real.

2019-06-10 20:22:46 UTC  

Now... I'm not so sure.

2019-06-10 20:22:58 UTC  

I'm more leaning towards exploitation of the stupid rich.

2019-06-10 20:23:23 UTC  

Fuck anything worthwhile, just dumb rich people give me your money, because you're going to waste it anyway, and I won't.

2019-06-10 20:25:06 UTC  

@Sleepy on games you gotta start slow, like on a distro or A.S. for a known game

2019-06-10 20:25:31 UTC  

i've done modding before, was involved with a handful of projects

2019-06-10 20:25:33 UTC  

That's how you learn how to deal with the hellspawn called player.

2019-06-10 20:25:35 UTC  

i'm not a 101

2019-06-10 20:26:27 UTC  

My problem is I love code, and the art I love doing is not the art that's needed for games.

2019-06-10 20:26:51 UTC  

So if I have to do art: it will take me eons

2019-06-10 20:27:12 UTC  

And I don't enjoy it because I don't enjoy making objective art.

2019-06-10 20:27:38 UTC  

U Like pixel art?

2019-06-10 20:28:28 UTC  

here's an older one

2019-06-10 20:28:32 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/462997453181026307/587739901575954508/310822_s1eepy_fl.png

2019-06-10 20:28:59 UTC  

Hmm

2019-06-10 20:29:10 UTC  

I don't identify as a 'creative'

2019-06-10 20:29:27 UTC  

Internally what I do is sequence or process, at least on half of it.