Message from @ɪɴꜰᴏᴍᴀsʜᴇᴅ, ɴᴇᴜᴛʀᴀʟɪᴢᴇs ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛ
Discord ID: 509781265306877959
Rembered this one
Ralof: Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there. Lokir: Damn you Stormcloaks... Skyrim was fine until you came along! Empire was nice and lazy. If they hadn’t been looking for you I’d have stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell. Looks at Dragonborn You there, you and me, we shouldn’t be here. It’s these Stormcloaks the Empire wants. Ralof: We’re all brothers and sisters in binds now. Driver: Shut up back there. Lokir: looks at Ulfric What’s wrong with him, huh? Ralof: Watch your tongue! You’re speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King. Lokir: Ulfric? The Jarl of Windhelm? You’re the leader of the rebellion... if they’ve captured you... oh gods, where are they taking us? Ralof: I don’t know where we’re going, but Sovngarde awaits. Lokir: No, This can’t be happening! This isn’t happening! Ralof: Hey, what village are you from horse-thief? Lokir: Why do you care? Ralof: A Nord’s last thoughts should be of home. Lokir: Rorikstead. I’m from Rorikstead. Hadvar: General Tullius sir! The headsman is waiting. Tullius: Good, let's get this over with. Lokir: Shor, Mara, Dibella, Kynareth, Akatosh! Divines, please help me! Ralof: Sees Tullius Look at him! General Tullius, the Military. And it looks like the Thalmor are with him.
Day 10456 of no fap I’ll never😿 forget that👉 day. The last⏱ time🧭 I tried no fap😩😩😩, I got this👉 far, and then👌 gave up☝️👿. I couldn’t take😡🌂👝 it anymore💍🦁. The pain😫😫😫 was too 2️⃣miserable. My body👩🚀 wasn’t ready to handle 🌂👠all of the testosterone🤧🤧, or the power🥴🥴. I decided😕😳 to have sex🥰❤️ with my wife. I tried to ☝️use protection🍆🍆🥖🥨🍑, but the condom broke💧💦🌧🌧🌧. It was probably 20 💧gallons💧 💦of cum 💦⛈☔️that went in 🍆💦🍑her. I impregnated👶🏼 her with so many baby’s 💪👶🏼💪🏿that her uterus😑 was the size of a blimp🚛✈️🚢. Of course, she passed, 😭along with all 9,638 of the fetuses🦵👶🏼🦵. I hear that👈👍👌 they had to put them all in the Great Wall of China because there👉 was no room for them🤚. The rest they just burned🔥 for energy. I vowed 😫😩never again. I spent the rest of my no fap💦 days concentrating🧐 and growing my intellect🧐🤓, to the point where I made a way to cryogenically freeze ❄️myself⛄️☃️⛄️. It won’t be long, for me😚 at least, until my testosterone 💦levels will be so high, that I will obtain all seven semen 💦🌧emeralds, and all of Constantinople will be under 👦👩🦰👂my rule, farewell friends. See you in another 500🍆🌶🍑⌚️📱 years.⌚️📱
“Oh yes!” Phil Swift barbarically grunted as he attempted to penetrate the Flex Tape with his big throbbing cock. However, the Flex Tape was too strong and he couldn’t break through it. Phil Swift then remembered how Flex Tape was no ordinary tape, and how it’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even grips underwater. Despite realizing his efforts to have sex with the Flex Tape were futile, it was too late because Flex Tape grips on tight, and bonds instantly. He tried to pull it off, but Flex Tape keeps it’s grip, even in the toughest conditions. He pulled with the might of Zeus, but instead ripped his dick off in the process. “Now that’s alotta damage!” he exclaimed, but he wasn’t done there. Phil Swift knew there was only one solution. He dashed over to his canister of Flex Seal, and began to dip his severed cock in it repeatedly until it was covered in several even coatings. “Camera man, are you seeing this?!” he over enthusiastically asked to an empty room, at a blank wall. It had been weeks since Phil Swift had any food or water and the Flex Fumes finally started to go to his head. He slapped some flex tape on the bloody stump where his cock used to be since Flex Tape’s triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks, but it was too late. Even after his dick was chopped off, Phil Swift was still feeling very horny from the Flex Tape and Flex Seal, which caused lots blood to rush to a penis that was simply no longer there anymore, and resulting in excessive blood loss over a short period of time. Not to mention, the lack of sustenance was too great; causing him to already be severely weakened from the start. He laughed hysterically before toppling over dead and expressionless. But rest assure, Phil Swift still died happy, because he knew his death was at the hands of the product he loved most.
This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual No Nut November. All pornography has been restricted. Males with birthdays during No Nut November have been granted immunity and shall be allowed to nut on the day of their birth. Commencing at the siren, any and all nutting, including masturbation, sex, and other sorts of sexual activities will be illegal for 30 consecutive days. Prostitution, Porn websites, other porn media outlets, and girls will be unavailable for use until December, when No Nut November concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May Allah be with you all.
Day 74 of no fap As I exited my vehicle to walk into work I caught scent of a female in heat 73.35 meters upwind. Because of the fog I couldn’t see her yet but judging by the scent she was mid twenties, and healthy. My ultra attunated hearing was able to pick up her gait, which put her at about 5’6”. My mind, free of the constraints of porn and indecent imagery, was able to calculate her weight based on the ripple in the testosterone continuum produced by her footsteps as she walked away from me. Being that I was 10 minutes early for work, I made chase and followed her through the fog still without visual contact. I was like a pilot navigating the white abyss by instrument alone. I was trailing her about 130m behind when I sensed her phone vibrate in her purse through the pavement. Holding my ear to the ground I was able to faintly pick up on the conversation she was having with beta BF. Based on the annoyed tone in her voice I knew now was the time to strike. I readied my legs and concentrated all of my Testo-chakras into my Vastus Medialus muscles as I assumed a sprinters starting stance. I exploded forward in a cataclysm of sex hormone fueled rage. Exactly 2.54 nanoseconds later I began to phase through time and space as I meshed with the testosterone continuum. As I phased through the helpless female target I nutted directly into both of her Fallopian tubes, destroying her previously unbroken hymen and causing her to orgasm INSTANTLY. As I began to slow down 33.6 light years later, I realised that while she would have wanted to thank me for giving her the gift of my superior seed that she was already dead and gone having raised my CHAD progeny to repopulate the earth. As I float into the the celestial abyss of the greater Crab Nebula I am not filled with regret for having left my world, but rather happiness for having left it a better place. You're welcome.
☝
😎 \
/ | /
\ |
👇 - - - - - - /
/
|
what the fuck is this <:PartyBoy:503282191841624079> from
<:PartyBoy:503282191841624079>
Is it a /fit/ meme?
gatchimuchi meme
like "your boy from next door" Billy Harrington
I think the best part about that is that it isn't a "Keep out, fuck you" sign
It's a "DANGER, KEEP OUT! THERE'S BOGANS AND SNAKES HERE!" sign
Our Furher Ted Bundy
I mean Ted Cruz
ᵒʰ ⁿᵒ
i love that?
no on is part of the scp lgbtq community anymore
I am LGBTQ and like SCP, so I mean...
Stop objectifying Doorknobs
@JeffMcSwaggerty dont identify with lgbtq
dont blindly follow anything
I dont identify with them, but I fall under the categorization.
👌
best advise for litterly everything dont blindly follow anything
Thats why I dont like politics. Because that's all it usually is.
ehhhhh
you need to know your morals and eline your self as close as possible no one will aways agree with you