Message from Artair in Cascadian Coffee Company #family


2017-06-23 03:02:17 UTC  

Done with the milk*

2017-06-23 03:02:54 UTC  

I don't know much about pregnancy, other than a good friend of mine is about to give birth to my god son... I can ask her about it.

2017-06-23 03:04:37 UTC  

Alright, she says have sex with your wife more.

2017-06-23 03:08:13 UTC  

That's weird looking haha.

2017-06-23 03:08:21 UTC  

But yes, you need to have more sex for sure.

2017-06-23 03:08:41 UTC  

If she is too sore for normal sex, then just... Just help her without putting your dick in there.

2017-06-23 03:09:13 UTC  

Also ask her if she wants help, and let her know she's attractive.

2017-06-23 03:09:46 UTC  

Earlier when I said they were taking effect, I meant towards my depression, not my bitch tits.

2017-06-23 03:10:02 UTC  

Is the OP taking note of all this?

2017-06-23 03:10:32 UTC  

I think he's on the phone or out with Wehrmacht.

2017-06-23 03:10:58 UTC  

Well, can someone relay this to him? I've got all of this from a very reliable source, a pregnant woman.

2017-06-23 03:11:37 UTC  

"Just tell him to talk to her and offer her help that's the sure fire way.
Women need to feel wanted and appreciated.
They want to feel like they're attractive and a lot of women struggle feeling attractive while they're pregnant. Today even I feel like a fatty haha"

2017-06-23 03:12:04 UTC  

But yes, for non Freuding babble, have her down some cashews to balance out her hormones.

2017-06-23 03:12:08 UTC  

The main thing I'm noticing about all this is that @Artair has been totally jolted out of his own depression by someone else's.

2017-06-23 03:12:30 UTC  

I don't take misery in other peoples suffering, I just feel good when I'm helping them.

2017-06-23 03:12:44 UTC  

So I see.

2017-06-23 03:13:42 UTC  

Actually it's just the Cashews, I do have a bit of a hormonal imbalance that causes me to feel severely depressed and apathetic, I was actually prescribed to eat them for that very reason. I don't want to talk about it either.

2017-06-23 03:15:45 UTC  

Once again though, keep her away from soy products, soy contains severe amounts of estrogen, which may be causing her to be a moody bitch.

2017-06-23 03:16:22 UTC  

Cashew milk should perhaps be given to her instead of regular milk, because lord knows that is done to that.

2017-06-23 03:17:56 UTC  

Is this too much information?

2017-06-23 03:19:21 UTC  

It may be. Uber is probably half drunk by now.

2017-06-23 03:19:53 UTC  

Well, the advice is sound and I'm good evidence of that.

2017-06-23 03:20:13 UTC  

I meant TMI as in, "Dear gods, I didn't need to know that Ian."

2017-06-23 05:00:47 UTC  

To think I almost logged off and missed cashew tits.

2017-06-23 05:43:31 UTC  

My next days off seem to be next sunday, we just had three people fired, one of which was going to allow me to have this saturday off.

2017-06-23 05:43:54 UTC  

so if you want to get away for a bit @Uberhat let me know.

2017-06-23 13:54:50 UTC  

Oh shit! From this morning’s Mail-Tribune: “Medford police recovered the body of an unidentified white male from the waters of the Rogue River early this morning. The coroners office has not confirmed the cause of death but an unopened jar of freeze dried cashews was found floating nearby and police are currently working on the assumption that it was used to bash in the victim’s skull.”

2017-06-23 15:07:49 UTC  

a jar huh? Must have been one soft skull.

2017-06-23 15:19:51 UTC  

Are you kidding me?

2017-06-23 15:24:16 UTC  

In Jimmy's free time, he likes to write onion style news clips and post them in chat servers.

2017-06-23 15:24:40 UTC  

haha lol

2017-06-23 15:25:01 UTC  

Wow, you guys can really use me as an example for the healing power of cashews.

2017-06-23 15:25:44 UTC  

Just yesterday I was DM'ing Austin Discussing suicide, ate a few handfuls of Cashews, drank some cashew milk, and It's all better.

2017-06-23 15:26:21 UTC  

Hey guys, can you check my question on <#300407039065194497> ?

2017-06-23 15:51:52 UTC  

Things are a bit better today

2017-06-23 15:52:01 UTC  

Talked to a couple people

2017-06-23 15:52:33 UTC  

Worked it out mostly with the wife and we'll take your suggestions into account going forward

2017-06-24 21:26:44 UTC  

Now this goy needs help

2017-06-24 21:52:25 UTC  

Mates hopeless. Rule #1, don't marry, just get them pregnant.

2017-06-25 01:59:59 UTC  

Baby took a tumble off the bed today, been in the ER and the wife isn't speaking to me, nor I to her.