Message from @Dick Daddy Foster

Discord ID: 400478497753268246


2018-01-10 02:33:18 UTC  

In this timeline, Kek began to explore and oversee the twenty-three universes he had created. Each one had been made to be unique, and so he did not bore of them easily.

2018-01-10 02:33:31 UTC  

Nevertheless, the Almighty Dildo Goddess still feared what destruction Kek may cause if he were to ever bore of these Universes. And so, she created Twenty-Three mythical beings to govern and uphold eacch of Kek's Universes. If one were to ever be killed by Lord Kek, she would know he had begun his campaign of destruction.

2018-01-10 02:33:42 UTC  

The God of the first Universe was named Silas, and he was granted power over the stars.

2018-01-10 02:33:55 UTC  

The God of the second, was named Roland and he was given rule over all living beasts.

2018-01-10 02:34:08 UTC  

The Goddess of the third universe was named Aquarius, and she was granted the power of water and ice.

2018-01-10 02:34:21 UTC  

The God of the fourth Universe, Allah, was dicked on by Lord Kek himself. (We'll get into that later...)

2018-01-10 02:34:33 UTC  

The God of the Fifth Universe was Platarch. He was the God of agriculture and food, and even founded the first space Taco Bell.

2018-01-10 02:34:49 UTC  

The Goddess of the Sixth Universe, Everah, was given authority over the wild plants which would soon cover most-all life-bearing planets.

2018-01-10 02:35:04 UTC  

The God of the Seventh Universe, Oomin, became the creator of all worlds which would revolve around Silas's stars.

2018-01-10 02:35:37 UTC  

The God of the Eighth Universe, Silent, was the God of Dreams and Premonitions.

2018-01-10 02:35:53 UTC  

The God of the Ninth Universe, Tim, was a lustful God, and so he was granted the title of the God of sin.

2018-01-10 02:36:05 UTC  

Universe ten's God was named Kurt, and he and his entire universe was specified to deal with the afterlife for all other universes.

2018-01-10 02:36:20 UTC  

Universe 11's Goddess, Lantra, was said to be the most intelligent of the Great Dildo Goddess' children. So, she was accordingly granted the title of: Goddess on Intellect and Wisdom.

2018-01-10 02:36:35 UTC  

Universe 12 had a God who thought of nothing but destruction. His name was Arragod, the God of Destruction.

2018-01-10 02:37:04 UTC  

The Goddess of Universe 13 was named Mishira, and she was given power over the light magic, while her twin sister Mugara, was given power over the dark magics. Mugara resides within Universe 14 as it's goddess.

2018-01-10 02:37:16 UTC  

Universe 15 hosted Imam, God of alcohol and parties. (Everyone liked Universe 15 because of this.)

2018-01-10 02:37:31 UTC  

Universe 16 housed Anita, Goddess of Gender and the only Goddess who didn't like Imam. (Go figure...)

2018-01-10 02:37:44 UTC  

Universe 17's Goddess was Masha, divine ruler of the winds.

2018-01-10 02:37:58 UTC  

The Goddess of Universe 18 (ironically) was Jessabelle, Goddess of sexuality.

2018-01-10 02:38:17 UTC  

Parle, God of Universe 19 was the Goddess of Gravity.

2018-01-10 02:38:34 UTC  

Universe 20's God Kommio, was known as a tamer of Dragons, as was granted the title of God of fire.

2018-01-10 02:38:46 UTC  

In Universe 21, the Fox-God Biago, was known as the God of blood.

2018-01-10 02:38:58 UTC  

Universe 22's Goddess Giana, was known as the deity of radiation.

2018-01-10 02:39:10 UTC  

And finally, from the 23rd Universe, there was Prim, Goddess of death.

2018-01-10 02:39:29 UTC  

However, none of these cucks mattered in the grand-scheme of things, so you literally just wasted your time reading all of that.

2018-01-10 02:40:18 UTC  

After exploring Universe five and eating some space Taco Bell, Kek did battle with the incredibly violent God of Universe four, Allah, but managed to easily wipe him out, proving his dominance over The Great Dildo-Goddess' creations. After Allah's defeat however, Kek became weary of the other Gods, and began a massive crusade against them, only allowing those Gods who would submit to him to live. After Kek's savage attack on these Universes, only Silas, Roland, Tim, Arragod, Mishara, Mugara, Imam, Anita, and Prim were allowed to live, however, Kek used his own power to heavily suppress these God's power, keeping them in his check.

2018-01-10 02:40:32 UTC  

After what Kek considers being “putting bitches in their place”, he was free to explore the next universe, the 4th universe. While he was there, Kek came across a molten ball of magma which was to be known as the planet Earth. While he was passing by, the space taco bell he had eaten had finally caught up with him, and so he was forced to take a fiery shit onto the young planet.

2018-01-10 02:40:49 UTC  

Kek was fascinated by the way the glowing mass of shit spun around with the Earth’s rotation, and watched it until it finally broke away from the molten mass and was caught in the Earth’s gravity. So fascinated in fact, that he almost overlooked the fact he had to piss. And seeing as the Earth was right there in front of our God, he used it as a toilet yet again. This time, his piss cooled the lava-surface of the planet, and contained within his urine, tiny fragments of bacteria-the first mortals.

2018-01-10 02:40:59 UTC  

Unaware of what he had just done, Kek left the Solar System, and eventually, the fourth universe. And from there on, the bacteria which had colonized the recently-cooled rock began to evolve, making a habitat within the late Aquarius’ waters, evolving into plankton, and then into algae and fish. And so on and so forth…

2018-01-10 02:41:10 UTC  

Eventually, all of the earth was green and teeming with life. Approximately 7500 years ago, Kek came back to Universe 4, and stumbled upon the planet he had once made his dumping ground. What he found astonished him. There was not only life on this planet, but intelligent life in the form of human beings.

2018-01-10 02:41:24 UTC  

Kek thought to himself how this could be, and eventually put the pieces together that it was he who had unintentionally created these life forms. Now, seeing his true powers of creation, Kek wanted to test himself by creating a life form intentionally. Not just any life-form though, but a God! Not like the weak and futile Gods the Almighty Dildo had created, but one whose power neared his own.

2018-01-10 02:41:36 UTC  

This prospect excited our Lord Kek, and so he set to work immediately within Earth's atmosphere, using more power than ever before to create a brand-new being in his likeness. After hours of non-stop design, his creation was finally complete: A frog named Pepe was born.

2018-01-10 02:41:49 UTC  

With this new door of possibilities open, Kek spoke these words to his son: "Boy! Go make me a sandwich!"

2018-01-10 02:41:59 UTC  

Pepe, feeling as though he shouldn't be pushed around with his almighty, god-like powers, was angered by Lord Kek's demands, but also, he new to fear the power of the frog-god, for he could sense that, for now, his power still slightly exceeded his own. And so, Pepe smiled at Kek and said: "Would you like that with nuts?"

2018-01-10 02:42:11 UTC  

"Nuts? Who the hell eats nuts with a sandwich?" Kek replied, unaware of Pepe's true intentions.

2018-01-10 02:42:27 UTC  

"Alright then... No nuts!" Pepe exclaimed as he dashed forward, not giving Kek a moment to react. Pepe then kicked the God in his ball-sack so hard, he began to tumble down the Earth's atmosphere, crying out in pain as he fell. All the while, Pepe sat above him, watching in delight as his creator fell to the Earth in pain. "Good... Now that father is out of the way, let's have some fun with these mortals..." And so , Pepe began his decent to Earth, intending to conquer it's people and name himself as the one, true God.

2018-01-10 02:42:37 UTC  

((End of Chapter 1: Genesis))

2018-01-10 02:49:30 UTC  

Chapter 2: Building Kekistan

2018-01-10 02:49:49 UTC  

Soon after his violent fall to Earth, Lord Kek awoke in the middle of the desert, the pain in his nut sack still resonating, causing the almighty frog god a great deal of pain. And in his crippled state, the lord said: "OH MY ME! I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN!!!"

2018-01-10 02:50:07 UTC  

And so our God hobbled through the desert, actively looking for some nearby travelers, hoping against all logic that there might be a caravan of people hauling crushed ice through the desert... (Yeah, he didn't think that out too well.)

2018-01-10 02:50:18 UTC  

However, eventually, he did come across a lone traveler on camel back, but as soon as Kek tried to hail this traveler, he instantly disintegrated into nothing, for no mortal can look upon the true form of Kek without suffering a severe case of death.