3 days or 3 months, whichever will it be

ive already done everything. therapy, gone to a hermitage to live secluded for a while, job got terminated, dropped out of university. the only things that bring me solace are minecraft and nostalgia. i nearly hang the noose whenever i am slightly provoked. the doctor and psychiatrist say im fine, just chronic depression. meds didnt help, so i stopped those. i cant even use my body to do shit to support myself because im ugly as sin. every night i lie awake and feel the urge to cry, but im so dehydrated that i cant cry. ive gone back to my old anorexia.

but its all gonna end soon. I've got a honing stone for the dagger

<:why:462286147473637407> <:why:462286147473637407> <:why:462286147473637407> <:why:462286147473637407> <:why:462286147473637407>

do you feel like you're worse than your younger self @StAbby

i just want to stay on here and enjoy the last bit of happiness that i can find here.

at the moment, yes.

@StAbby are you joking or serious

It's hard to tell due to internet irony

Can we just cluster bomb Afghanistan like the good ol WW2 days in London?

@Jack of Trades while i am serious, ive not talked about it because of the responses like the one @2K gave where they are assholes about it

wut

unfortunately that's an unforgiving reoccurrence that is part of life, what gives life meaning is the duality of suffering and enduring it, surpassing it. right now as you are, you seem like you're overly thinking your situation and have been for those past three months of unending failure. if you hadn't concluded yet, it's that change comes very hard (no pun intended <:FeelTheBarn:591276979844808734> ). think of the hell you are in right now and think of the relative status quo you have been in the past. you can get back there, but you'll have to pay attention and practice with this attention of yours whatever you might find appealing to your own unique situation.

tfw i was legit sad

@StAbby well ive felt similar before. There's a way out, but it will require more suffering. Are you interested?

i cant become 7 again, @HunDread

the majority of people who succeed in life are strugglers, it's just that in our limited perception and access to stimuli, we are incapable of perceiving their suffering, their thoughts, their feelings.

@StAbby you can become something better

you can become something that isn't what you are right now.

it's frightening but also reassuring, it comes slowly but it's better than cutting the film.

@HunDread way better.

your brain functions like a story teller, and right now your story is in hell, where you'd rather die than suffer a thousand lashes of neurological torment

these words are falling on deafened ears. guys. this is all shit ive heard and taken to heart before

im done talking

if you were, you wouldn't be here

may he flip his coin well, lads

https://images.app.goo.gl/ByQcopr92BcDagxz7

@ @HunDread

Fuck

😦

@StAbby k, well it's true. It's up to you to choose. What you're doing now leads to more suffering. Changing leads to a better possibility. Your choice.

the feeling i have right now is that of yesterday when i saw a bunch of dead infantile animals on the fucking road - cats, dogs, whatever mangled corpse was left

I hope rags reviews the swiftz mouse.

@2K you smell

go to sleep jack

its 5 o clock for you

I have already slept

I start work at 6:30 lmao

have a nice day then

tbh

If we vote for you to sleep