Message from @Deleted User

Discord ID: 460083553540112384


2018-06-22 21:53:22 UTC  

I’ve been asking for this for almost a year!

2018-06-22 21:53:28 UTC  

Glad to have it

2018-06-23 00:50:42 UTC  

Guess I’ll start it off. I have three kids a daughter that’s 11 and two sons whom are 9 and 3. There is nothing like being a dad. There is nothing harder than being a dad and trying to keep your kids away from the pozz while allowing them to have a normal life.

2018-06-23 02:10:21 UTC  

My first kid is due in October, can I be honorary parent?

2018-06-23 02:19:27 UTC  

You belong in here forsure. One of our ky members has a son due in oct

2018-06-23 02:30:53 UTC  

Exciting. If I’m not mistaken there’s a few more IE buns in the oven as well

2018-06-23 13:18:07 UTC  

What do you guys think of spanking as discipline? (I'm not a father yet, just curious)

2018-06-23 13:30:56 UTC  

Oof, I’m very conflicted on that one. On one hand I remember getting spanked as a kid and there are few times I remember being that scared and upset as a youngin. I also never want to be that mad at my kid that I’d hit them.

2018-06-23 13:33:14 UTC  

So I hope having a stern presence and using a booming tone will be sufficient when it comes to that.

2018-06-23 13:33:34 UTC  

hmm

2018-06-23 13:34:45 UTC  

Yeah, I remember being on the receiving end a few times. Ideally I'd never have to use it? but I think it might have a time and place

2018-06-23 13:34:51 UTC  

but incredibly rare

2018-06-23 13:35:00 UTC  

I wouldn't say never though

2018-06-23 13:35:08 UTC  

Cause it does teach a lesson

2018-06-23 13:35:48 UTC  

Exactly, like that punishment stuck with me. But id want to save it as a last resort

2018-06-23 13:39:38 UTC  

I think alot of compliance can be achieved with how the mother acts

2018-06-23 13:41:01 UTC  

if she's playing along with the "You better listen to your father" thing

2018-06-23 13:41:53 UTC  

Discipline ought to be a team effort, one parent only isn't enough of shaming and directioning

2018-06-23 13:42:06 UTC  

Agreed. My mom and dad had times where they didn’t work together and that’s something I want to stress with my wife when the time comes

2018-06-23 14:07:47 UTC  

Discipline should never involve anger.

2018-06-23 14:08:01 UTC  

Anger by its nature is undisciplined.

2018-06-23 15:11:14 UTC  

Spanking has its place. I use it more as a tool when the kids are younger. And if you use that tool and others right as they get older spanking isn’t necessary

2018-06-23 15:12:42 UTC  

I use things like push ups all the way to writing essays. Many different circumstances call for different things.

2018-06-23 20:03:28 UTC  

I was never spanked, I was born in the 80s to very conservative parents; however mom was a nurse in the maternity ward at a hospital and was convinced that spanking was bad for child development.
Molyneux calls it “the bomb in the brain” because studies show spanking has irreversible effects on brain development, lowering IQ, increasing violence, and more.
https://youtu.be/sf7uq9NUOnY

2018-06-23 20:04:35 UTC  

I'd be interested to see the frequency in which it was used in those studies

2018-06-23 20:05:24 UTC  

because if it was alot, it's nearing the territory if similar effects with literal abuse

2018-06-23 20:15:34 UTC  

I was rarely spanked as a child,and only a fee times when smaller. Groundings worked better. I aslo used some spanking on my daughter when she was really little,but not as much the older she got,i used grounding and taking things away,like her computer or music and she knew she really messed up if it got to that. With the stepkids it was used a lil too,but more so the standing in the corner. But that also didn't last long,our involvement in raising them as their mother took and raised them far up north not long after we had the youngest. So I can honestly say more so from raising my own daughter then.

2018-06-27 03:45:47 UTC  

Hello all, my wife and I are expecting our first child in October. Does anyone have any suggested reading materials for expectant/1st time fathers?

2018-06-27 11:38:28 UTC  

Congratulations brother! I’m in the exact same boat as you. I’ve read a few, and the majority of them all do this same dumb thing; “hur dur hormonal wives and dirty diapers! Now you can’t watch football all day.” One book that I found that doesn’t do that and actually gives good advice is “idiots guide: pregnancy for dads”

2018-06-27 14:10:43 UTC  

Indeed, congrats mein freund!

2018-06-27 20:46:52 UTC  

Thank you both! and thanks for the suggestion @Grossly Incandescent

2018-06-27 20:48:34 UTC  

@martin Congratulations!

2018-06-27 20:49:38 UTC  

@martin do you know if it’s a boy or girl?

2018-06-28 00:26:31 UTC  

Anyone heard of “Love & Logic”? I’ve heard a lot of good things about it for a few years, but my wife and I just got the book a couple months ago.

2018-06-28 00:27:32 UTC  

So far it’s lived up to most of the hype, but it’s still early and I gotta finish the book. 😅

2018-06-28 00:32:32 UTC  

Can we get a quick rundown

2018-06-28 00:32:56 UTC  

@Grossly Incandescent we're gonna let it be a surprise

2018-06-28 00:33:28 UTC  

Exciting!

2018-06-28 01:47:51 UTC  

@Grossly Incandescent Sorry, were you talking to me? Yeah, I’ll try to summarize the methodology. It’s called “Love and Logic” but you could also call it “Empathy and Natural Consequences”, it’s just not as catchy. Basically, you make sure you administer all discipline with a healthy dose of empathy so you’re not the bad guy. And discipline should be natural consequences as much as possible.