Message from @Volkmom

Discord ID: 481946793995796510


2018-08-17 04:39:23 UTC  

HAHAHA

2018-08-17 04:39:38 UTC  

i regret not reading the books with our oldest before letting him see a couple of the movies... šŸ˜¦

2018-08-17 04:39:43 UTC  

You can't really argue with how nationalist it is

2018-08-17 04:40:00 UTC  

very implicit

2018-08-17 04:40:16 UTC  

It's Peak Identity Politics

2018-08-17 04:41:46 UTC  

When I think about it, watching those movies when I was younger may have shaped my views

2018-08-17 04:42:34 UTC  

Movies are alright, I prefer to imagine how they talk and interact.

2018-08-17 04:47:16 UTC  

In most cases I'd agree. but seeing as how I lost my copy of the fellowship on a plane when I was 10 or so, reading never worked out lmao

2018-08-17 04:47:42 UTC  

and the movies are masterfully made, so I'm ok with them

2018-08-19 11:38:17 UTC  

What's the earliest age you can start lettting your son watch UFC? šŸ˜ƒ

2018-08-19 14:05:46 UTC  

day 1

2018-08-19 20:44:00 UTC  

Feckin A

2018-08-20 03:05:24 UTC  

Watch it from day one and start training when he can walk save weights until he is at least 13 though.

2018-08-21 05:28:24 UTC  

I no longer recommend Jien Liedloff's book, "Continuum Concept" @@missliterallywho I read it about 10 years ago. I think its bs tbh. I totally agree with living by the rhythms of nature but that book is very questionable imo

2018-08-21 05:30:08 UTC  

Birth control pills are definitely awful. Using natural fertility awareness is ideal. It has always worked for us. Intentionally conceived 3x with no accidents and our children are spaced by 3.5 years+

2018-08-21 05:31:31 UTC  

So plenty of time for extended breastfeeding and allowing me time to recover and revitalize before conceiving again. I love that you're on this track!

2018-08-21 05:40:04 UTC  

What I dislike about Continuum Concept is that i feel like it is in some ways anti-White, and also her observations of childbearing within the primitive South American tribes are put on a pedestal, disregarding European tradition, and I feel like for us we need to find a balance when seeking nature/rhythmic lifestyles, bc we generally lack resources for our own historical info- many aspiring Whites tend to internalize what literature and research that does exist- being that of "indigenous" tribes of the globe. While some of it can be of use, I find that deep down, much of it doesn't resonate as it once did, simply bc it it doesn't represent our folk ways.

2018-08-21 12:29:32 UTC  

If you do decide to read the book I will look forward to seeing what you think of it šŸ˜€

2018-08-22 01:59:27 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/459564946296930324/481643535989473290/image0.jpg

2018-08-22 19:59:06 UTC  

Tbh it's been a long time since I read that book, but I think some of her accounts are extreme and unrealistic. Such as relaxing and trusting your crawling baby near a cliff edge. Lol. There is some questionable stuff in there about interacting with babies and if I remember correctly-sexuality stuff that was a major red flag. Regarding the continuum concept, i do think there is a balance to be struck. Hovering parents can be detrimental. We have always tried to allow as much physical freedom as safely possible with our developing children such as tree climbing, exploring water, etc. and it has benefited them in their agility and confidence and mental faculties. But I don't think her book contributed to our patenting style whatsoever, it was more of just observing our children, intuiting and bri g present to immediately step in and help and guide and teach when needed. It is bizarre sometimes to see some parents at the park, for instance. It's like, here they are at the playground and they are instructing the child's every last move. Let's do the slide now, let's swing now, climb on that, do this, no that's too big for you, that's scary, etc. The child is not getting to experience anything for themselves.

2018-08-22 22:04:29 UTC  

i agree! well said!

2018-08-22 22:04:51 UTC  

i look forward to your fresh take on the book after you read it.

2018-08-22 22:05:15 UTC  

since its been awhile for me šŸ˜ƒ

2018-08-31 23:53:51 UTC  

Hi all. Didnā€™t realize this thread existed until today. Just had number #2 4 weeks ago and #1., 2yo this November, has been really missing 1 on 1 time with mom and now wakes whenever mom feeds and freaks out. We do sleep. Anyone else cosleep? Similar experience? Help? Iā€™m so tired.

2018-09-01 12:40:39 UTC  

Hey @Prestor John , Iā€™ve got a 2 year old and a 4 month old myself. I canā€™t speak for everyone but Iā€™ve never been a fan of co-sleeping. Of course youā€™ve ā€œgotta do what you gotta doā€ but Iā€™ve seen it backfire. Iā€™m friends with two couple that both have 3+ year old children sleeping in their bed at night.

2018-09-01 12:57:46 UTC  

My 2 year old didnā€™t seem too phased when we brought his baby sister home...at first. But now that sheā€™s more active during the day, heā€™s started with the jealousy. Every family dynamic is different, and every kid is different, but one thing that worked well for us was to make sure our son was getting plenty of physical activity, he is much more likely to fight naps, or just generally act out when he hasnā€™t had much exercise.

2018-09-01 13:24:17 UTC  

As far as bedtime/sleeping goes...my wife and I just had a discussion about it to make sure we were on the same page, bedtime is pretty much non-negotiable here. When we moved our son from in a pack n play in our bedroom to a crib in his own room, naturally we had to deal with the ā€œgrowing pains.ā€ But we set up a sort of timer system. The first night, we let him cry for 2 minutes before one of us would go in. We would not pick him up, but rather just lay him back down and comfort him briefly before walking out. The next night we started at 3 minutes, next night 4...etc. I think it only took 3-4 days before he was falling asleep on his own with no drama. Recently we started dealing with a bit of a sleep regression, where he started fighting his naps, getting out of his toddler bed and coming out at night. Basically I think heā€™s realized that life goes on outside of his room while heā€™s napping, and he doesnā€™t want to ā€œmiss outā€ He can reach doorknobs now and come and go as he pleases, so it actually got to the point where we had to lock his door at nap-time, or else he would come out of his room, or start slamming his door and waking the baby. Once we locked it, the first couple of days he would lay on his floor kicking the door and having a tantrum, if he didnā€™t calm down after a few mins, Iā€™d go in and just put him back in bed without saying anything, and walk out. He fell asleep on the floor in front of his door a few times but eventually he gave up and started staying in bed.

2018-09-01 13:27:22 UTC  

Iā€™m sure there are a million different methods and expert opinions for parenting little kids, some better than others no doubt. Iā€™m sorry this got way longer than I meant it too.

Tl;dr whatever you do, be consistent. Kids, especially toddlers thrive on consistency and boundaries. Theyā€™re getting to that age where theyā€™re starting to test you, and assert some independence. They may not quite grasp ā€œwhyā€ the need to

2018-09-01 13:28:46 UTC  

They* need to nap, sleep, etc. But they do understand cause/effect. If you stay consistent, theyā€™ll pick up on that.

2018-09-01 13:30:32 UTC  

Iā€™m no expert by any means, my wife and I are figuring this out as we go along too. Itā€™s by far the most challenging experience of my life. Feel free to message me anytime, itā€™s great to be able to bounce ideas off of people here, Iā€™m sure there are way more experienced parents here with tons of valuable knowledge

2018-09-01 14:24:14 UTC  

We are pro co-sleeping @Prestor John its quite trad. great for breastfeeding and bonding. at around 2 yo or so the transition to toddler bed is definitely difficult, but better imo thanl etting an infant "cry it out". i agree with Px4 about plenty of physical activity to help with kids' behavior. Also strictly limiting sugar can have huge effects. a little one on one goes a long way. perhaps just mom snuggling and reading books to your toddler while she nurses the nb could be helpful. implementing one small daily thing with the older child that is special just for them can be good too, such as giving them a constructive way to "help" cook dinner

2018-09-01 17:14:38 UTC  

@Volkmom @Px4 thanks! My wife was a nanny and sleep trained multiple kids but totally lost her nerve when it came to ours. She backed up her gut feeling with some research and we didnā€™t do it. Our soon to be 2yo was sleeping in his own bed earlier this year but with her being pregnant at the time and a heatwave making hi upstairs room a no go zone he came down into our bed. After our daughter was born we realized that we couldnā€™t switch back right away and wife and I Knie of like it when we all actually sleep.

My big take aways are consistency which we need to get back to and sugar, which he recently has had introduced to his diet. I did just build a high stool with a rail so he can stand next to mom in the kitchen.

2018-09-01 18:37:10 UTC  

@Prestor John see what I mean about every family being different! We opted for the cry it out method (sort of) and our two year old is great about sleeping. Not that I have anything against co-sleeping of course, just wasnā€™t for us. @Volkmom is spot on about the one on one time, a little extra reassurance and attention can go a long way. And I agree with you both about limiting sugar, with one exception, we only limit added or refined sugars. Naturally occurring sugars, especially in foods with a high fiber content, like fructose in fresh fruit, or lactose in milk/yogurt..we donā€™t really limit them per se. But we do strictly limit sugary snacks and junk food. We donā€™t give him juice, they donā€™t need it and he doesnā€™t like it anyway. Cookies/candy are saved for very special treats. I really like that stool! I may have to make one for when he ā€œhelpsā€ me work in the garage

2018-09-01 19:14:54 UTC  

@Px4 im building one for the garage as well. FYI the bottom of the one in the pic is an IKEA stool we had.

@missliterallywho our 2yo goes to sleep without much fuss. I think most of the controversy is about doing it before 1. I could be mistaken.

2018-09-01 22:34:26 UTC  

@missliterallywho @Prestor John yes you guys are absolutely right, my mom is actually a pediatric NP, so we had a great resource. She told us that you shouldnā€™t attempt to let a baby cry it out until they are old enough to sleep through the night without needing to eat. Usually 6 months old at absolute minimum. And only after you make sure their other needs have been met, theyā€™re fed, not too warm/cool, in a dry/clean diaper, etc. A child that is crying ONLY for comfort at bedtime, IMO itā€™s ok to begin letting them cry it out. Learning to self soothe is actually an important skill that they need to learn. I will say that itā€™s hard to listen to your child cry, but eventually they all have to sleep on their own. The ā€œtimerā€ system my wife and I used was a happy medium between having them cry vs sleeping in our room forever

2018-09-01 23:10:28 UTC  

we haven't ever let ours cry it out, but no dis to you whatsoever @Px4 . im glad you guys found what works for you. i dont coddle mine, i try not to. they're all boys and they're still tough as nails even though i gave them a full two years each of nursing and co-sleeping. imo the first one is the most difficult. after that, the younger ones strive to be like big brother or big sis so its easier to wean them from the various milestones...

2018-09-01 23:18:58 UTC  

as for parents having their bed back, alone together--- i say we just have to acknowledge that there are different seasons of our lives/ relationships and its not always going to be like the honeymoon... couples can still find ways to be together in another space of the house. afterall, the point of marriage is to have children...

2018-09-01 23:34:49 UTC  

@Volkmom it took me a bit to come around to your way of thinking since my wife and I had planned to parent very differently. I saw her rejection of sleep training, nursing until almost 2, and then co-sleeping as coddling and soft but I went along with it because she is at home with them. I couldnā€™t have been more wrong. My son is tougher, stronger and more confident than kids twice his age. Iā€™m convinced Moms milk gave him the strength and knowing he has a home base gives him the confidence. Thatā€™s not to say kids SA canā€™t be those thing when raised differently. It just works for us, except the lack of sleep right now.

2018-09-02 00:28:33 UTC  

@Volkmom none taken! Discussion is great, two very different schools of thought, two very different approaches towards meeting the same goal...happy, well adjusted, confident huwhyte children. @Prestor John I agree with you both, breastfeeding is so vital. Formula has its place but any amount of breast milk is better than none IMO. Curious as to your guysā€™ opinion on spanking? My siblings and I were spanked as children but very rarely. It was like the nuclear option for my parents, thatā€™s kind of how weā€™ve been doing it with our son, when he needs discipline he first gets a sort of time-out, which isnā€™t really a punishment, more of a re-direct. One of us will sit with him in the rocking chair and talk about why we donā€™t (pester the dog, stand on the coffee table, take sissyā€™s toys..etc) after that we go back out to play. If he continues the behavior he gets one very clear, stern warning, we make sure that we have eye contact and he knows what heā€™s being warned about. If he still continues, he gets a spanking, a couple of firm swats across his diapered behind usually does the trick. Weā€™ve been very consistent with the redirect, warning, spanking. And after a few times of that, we very rarely ever get past the warning stage anymore. I think once he realized that we werenā€™t kidding, he thinks twice before we get to that point lol

2018-09-02 00:31:15 UTC  

Only asking because I was at the grocery store earlier and a girl Iā€™m guessing around 4 was having a full on tantrum in the store, her mom was pretty much ignoring it, but the dad was doing the ā€œok thatā€™s the last time, I meant it! Donā€™t do that, stop it, alright Iā€™m counting to three, one two three, alright thatā€™s it! This is your final warning...ā€