Message from @ThisIsChris

Discord ID: 483678366889803779


2018-08-26 01:20:31 UTC  

@Tanner - SC what's your opinion on that? in my own experience, I dated several women in 6+ month relationships that never went anywhere before meeting my wife when I was 23, so even though I proposed to my wife within 3 months, I felt sure in knowing she was the one. This experience always made me sympathetic to people who want to propose within a fairly short time span. (I compare this to a couple I know who won't commit to marriage after 12 years of "dating", with 8 years of living together.)

2018-08-26 01:34:25 UTC  

@Tanner - SC I have to chime in in that. I met my wife online, I'm 28 and she's 20 we dated for bout 3 months, before I met her, then I met her and weve been together ever since, Also we were married after 8 months, but also were living together so maybe this sped up the getting use to each other cycle I don't know. But weve been together over 2 years now, and have a 5 month old babygirl. So I would side with a fast marriage because that was my case. Also I've know guys who are thinking bout getting married and just like @ThisIsChris stated they were together bout 8 years dating. I just think that seems insane. But that's just my opinion.

2018-08-26 01:37:31 UTC  

@Francis V i understand where your coming from I was raised catholic and my wife is non Dem Protestant. And it makes things harder because of that. I dont really have any advice on it, just would like to talk to you or if you feel ya need to talk I'm here as well on this issue. Cheers

2018-08-26 01:48:10 UTC  

IMO, 8 months isn’t too fast. Meeting face-to-face only once is too fast. I’m not an expert, I’m just cautious. Nothing wrong with meeting online or talking long distance, but there needs to be meatspace time.

2018-08-26 01:48:49 UTC  

Yea that makes sense, we lived together for 8 months so

2018-08-26 01:50:12 UTC  

Living together before marriage is not something I support, but that’s like the equivalent of dating for 3 years in terms of time exposure and being exposed in times of stress or need.

2018-08-26 01:57:07 UTC  

That makes sense, personally I don't see an issue of living together because it worked for me, but that's not like I would reccemend that for other people.

2018-08-26 02:01:22 UTC  

My girlfriend and I talk every day via video calls and I have spoken to both her parents. I honestly would have probably married her sight unseen though. She's unbelievably beautiful and so trad it literally blows me away. She wants to be a stay at home mom, 7 kids, she cooks, cleans, and sews. She has never worn pants and plays the floor harp. I was just returning to faith when I met her but now I'm absolutely confident. It's like God heard my prayers and shot her out of a cannon directly into my heart. Sorry for the cheesy analogy but I'm in love.

2018-08-26 02:05:36 UTC  

@Der Seeteufel - SD yep Skype in invaluable for transnational relationships. My wife's European and that came in handy while she had to stay there while we worked through immigration.

2018-08-26 02:07:19 UTC  

Immigration is something I'm worried about. I might need your help with that @ThisIsChris but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

2018-08-26 02:07:44 UTC  

@Der Seeteufel - SD Yeah there's a lot to learn, I'll be happy to help.

2018-08-26 02:08:13 UTC  

@Der Seeteufel - SD be careful with people from other countries though alotta fakes out there. Just use caution and logic and reason as much as possible. Don't let ur emotion take over ur senses

2018-08-26 02:09:32 UTC  

@SuperTomPerry -RI don't worry we met through my church. She's the real deal. I have met her in person too. She was here briefly during the summer.

2018-08-26 02:11:10 UTC  

She's a homeschooled farm girl. My pastor has known the family for years.

2018-08-26 02:11:41 UTC  

He's the one who set us up together.

2018-08-26 02:20:59 UTC  

@Der Seeteufel - SD OK good to go. Me and my wife both homeschooled as well.

2018-08-26 05:07:31 UTC  

Where are women even at? Online? Only place i ever meet women are at bars/clubs and they’re not exactly keepers

2018-08-26 05:15:09 UTC  

@Sherlock Try a night class

2018-08-26 05:15:58 UTC  

Probably better for <#436337973001322508>

2018-08-27 07:09:27 UTC  

I can't help but chime in here. Years ago i met my hubby on Halloween,by December we got engaged. We started living together in January and got married in May. I was the one who knew i was going in with a man who had 2 kids & divorced already but it was well worth it because i could see the man he already was ahead of time & I wouldn't change it for anything. And we did have 1 daughter together. Next May 28,2019 will be our 25th Anniversary. We have been through alot together & I love him more now than i ever did & could never imagine my world without him.

2018-08-27 16:45:08 UTC  

@celticflame Thanks for sharing. A lot of people I've talked to who "knew quickly" have been v. successful.

2018-08-27 18:09:03 UTC  

@missliterallywho dreams are wild sometimes, self fulfilling prophecy sometimes it seems

2018-08-27 19:44:52 UTC  

@ThisIsChrisThankyou,quite true!

2018-08-27 19:45:34 UTC  

@SuperTomPerry -RIexactly & I myself have had a few that have come true too.

2018-08-28 04:32:43 UTC  

My wife and I dated for a year in high school. Got engaged and married two years later. We didn’t live together until marriage although she stayed with me a lot. I think when you know you know. If my wife and I had been adults when we met I would have been willing to marry her within a couple of months. If you have that connection there is no denying it.

2018-08-28 11:16:50 UTC  

My wife and I, when I was 20 and she 19, knew we were going to marry about 3 months into dating.

2018-09-03 18:43:55 UTC  

When preparing to marry a woman, no one really know how the fertility situation will work out. How do you ensure you don’t get stuck with an infertile woman?
* Would you get fertility testing done before proposing? Testing the guy is cheap and easy, testing the woman can cost thousands of dollars and involve invasive surgical procedures.
* Would you start trying for children after marriage and if none come, divorce?
* Would you start trying for children after getting engaged and if no children come, cancel the wedding?
* Would you agree to start trying for children and hold off on the engagement until she gets pregnant?

2018-09-03 19:19:39 UTC  

Dang that’s a tough one.

2018-09-03 19:20:22 UTC  

Ask why she's infertile. If it was because of cervical cancer...run.

2018-09-03 19:21:57 UTC  

If all the criteria were met but we were surprised with infertility...I wouldn't divorce, my personal belief is that miracles happen.

2018-09-03 19:22:33 UTC  

Yeah miracles happen and "scientific certainty" really isn't that when it comes to biology.

2018-09-03 19:23:16 UTC  

> Ask why she's infertile.

I’m talking about any woman who you don’t know her fertility status. I’m not talking about someone who *knows* she’s infertile.

2018-09-03 19:24:17 UTC  

Unless she's literally had her reproductive organs removed I don't think "infertility" is ever 100%.

2018-09-03 19:25:51 UTC  

The only couple I know who really couldn't conceive is in their 80s and missed the window of modern medicine when they were young

2018-09-03 19:26:15 UTC  

Other couples I've known have struggled with it, but eventually conceived after trying several times.

2018-09-03 19:27:34 UTC  

There's all sorts of fertility treatments now too, black and white infertility sounds more like a spook created by J-left media.

2018-09-03 19:28:00 UTC  

Like "sexual compatibility"

2018-09-03 19:28:25 UTC  

I’m reading articles that show fertility is much lower than I had assumed. Like this site <https://www.livescience.com/51761-ticking-clock-optimum-age-for-women-to-begin-families-infographic.html>

It says if you want 90% likelihood of having 3 children, you must start trying when she is 23. Well shoot, I’m 31, I won’t necessarily pull a woman young enough to be 23 after marriage when we start trying for children. And I don’t want to be stuck with a no-child life.

2018-09-03 19:29:16 UTC  

I have multiple peers who have been trying to get pregnant for years unsuccessfully. The data in the above link agrees with this.

2018-09-03 19:31:08 UTC  

Even including IVF, the most radical of fertility treatments, 90% chance of 3 children is only if you start when she’s 28. If I want 5 children and if I’m not pulling 21 year olds, I need a failure plan.

2018-09-03 19:38:16 UTC  

>sounds like a spook created by the media

Manipulating statistics for divorce rates to include blacks and high school drop-outs and re-marriages in order to scare white educated men away from marriage, I agree.

Low fertility rates, I don’t see how that would discourage men from seeking to be fathers. If anything, it might encourage more sex. Regardless, the above data doesn’t lie and unlike divorce rates, fertility is unlikely to be affected by as many factors, so the results are more relevant to us.