Message from @Tanner - SC

Discord ID: 455063910777880576


2018-05-29 02:25:17 UTC  

Next time that happens, press a little harder, like "well you're going to need a snack break. Let's meet at _________"

2018-05-29 02:25:36 UTC  

i probably could've done something like that

2018-05-29 02:25:40 UTC  

i was worried about coming on too strong

2018-05-29 02:25:50 UTC  

maybe me asking when the semester was over is what did that

2018-05-29 02:26:14 UTC  

Yea of course you were worried about that. It's hard to find the right balance.

2018-05-29 02:36:12 UTC  

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola if you have nothing to lose socially, go for it again. If she's part of your church and you're worried about a bad reputation, lay off of it

2018-05-29 02:36:39 UTC  

i think i might just give it time

2018-05-29 02:36:43 UTC  

and if we interact in person at church more

2018-05-29 02:36:46 UTC  

maybe give it a shot

2018-05-29 03:11:27 UTC  

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola my experience was that people weren't really stable people when it came to dating until they were 23. I assume it's something about hormones and settling down, not really sure. Also I don't think it's a hard rule, but I would use it as a guideline. Not sure how old you are but dating a woman slightly older than you isn't bad if you want to give the 23+ thing a shot.

2018-05-29 03:16:47 UTC  

@ThisIsChris i'm turning 23 in July. Church girl by comparison is 18

2018-05-29 03:21:15 UTC  

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola Even though I would root for you, this has all the signs of something that won't work out the way you were hoping.

2018-05-29 03:21:47 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/436337773579075585/450861287904247838/Screen_Shot_2018-05-28_at_11.21.27_PM.png

2018-05-29 03:22:00 UTC  

yeah, i have similar feelings but I'm not sure if that's just me rationalizing out of being in pain over it

2018-05-29 03:22:24 UTC  

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola sounds like acceptance

2018-05-29 03:23:54 UTC  

1. "She'll probably hit me up."
2. "why would she show interest in me and invite me to sit next to her if she wasn't interested in me?"
3. "i'll just ask her again sometime."
4. "tfw no trad orthodox church girl gf"
5. "probably wouldn't have worked out anyway"

2018-05-29 03:24:08 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/436337773579075585/450861880173395969/1460160632691.jpg

2018-05-29 03:24:20 UTC  

haha amazing

2018-05-30 02:34:25 UTC  

IMO, the problem is one-itis. Find another lead or two and pursue them, then consider coming back to this one after the focus is not so narrow and naturally your confidence around her will be higher too.

2018-05-30 14:11:50 UTC  

^

2018-06-09 17:41:31 UTC  

The women on Christian Mingle are incredibly traditional. Multiple profiles saying their main life goal is to be a good mother.

2018-06-09 18:09:40 UTC  

Already back into it, good for you, @Tanner - SC

2018-06-11 02:51:35 UTC  

Yeah, religion can be a good proxy for traditionalism. I know a few guys that met their wives at church

2018-06-13 01:51:50 UTC  

I heard this pick-up line is really effective:
Fight demographic decline, be mine!

2018-06-14 13:21:53 UTC  

So I'm about to go meet a girl from my church who has traveled all the way from Australia to look for a christian husband. We've sent a few emails back and forth but today I'm actually going to meet her in person. Any last minute advice?

2018-06-14 13:36:09 UTC  

Dood nice

2018-06-14 14:47:46 UTC  

@Der Seeteufel - SD I suggest giving extra attention to making her feel comfortable, even if she is enthusiastic, travelling to a new country to meet a man she hasn't met IRL before must be very stressful! Also she's there to learn about you, so show her around places important to you. (Did you clean your room?) House, maybe a quick pass by your work site, church, town center or wherever else you like to hang out.

2018-06-14 15:13:44 UTC  

We are going to meet at a church retreat in another state so she won't see my house, but my house is pretty clean. I don't actually live there most of the time because I get room and board where I work.

2018-06-14 15:22:53 UTC  

Don’t act like she is the only woman you’ve ever been around. Treat her like you would want a man to treat your daughter.

2018-06-14 16:03:35 UTC  

Make her laugh. Always make them laugh.

2018-06-14 21:33:51 UTC  

Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "How do you drive this thing?"

2018-06-14 21:43:04 UTC  

Okay maybe don’t lead with that but you get the idea

2018-06-20 22:50:07 UTC  

I think I’ve figured out online dating. I recommend eHarmony, Christian Mingle, and Match.
* The messaging feature is not to introduce yourself, it’s not to flirt, it’s not to get to know them better.
* Just hit the “like” button on the girls you like.
* Put the rest of your effort into your profile itself and analyzing their profile before hitting “like”.
* If she “likes” you back, you proceed straight to asking her out via message. “Want to do <activity> on <> day at <> place at <> time?”
* If she accepts, “Great, see you then.”
* Do all further courting and vetting in person.
* If the date goes well, get her phone number and make further contact through phone/text.

2018-06-20 23:05:06 UTC  

^Accurate

2018-06-21 02:25:56 UTC  

2018-06-21 02:26:16 UTC  

@Tanner - SC good insight

2018-06-21 04:04:30 UTC  

@Tanner - SC that's good advice for texting a girl you met IRL too. Just ask her out, plan logistics and that's it. No reason to be too chatty. Guys worry about what they should say too much. If she's interested, you hardly have to say anything.

2018-06-21 10:05:56 UTC  

Tbh most girls I’ve met online like to chat in varying amounts prior to meeting in person. I’ve even spoken to a few on the phone. I think it’s a way for them to get comfortable with you prior to meeting face to face. We need to understand a girls experience with online dating is very different from ours. There are a lot of poorly socially adjusted people out there and many guys are just looking for hook ups. Chances are the girl you met wants to make sure you are neither of these people. If she wants to chat with you I would be receptive to make her as comfortable with you as you can

2018-06-21 13:27:28 UTC  

@Zyzz re: "there are a lot of poorly socially adapted people out there" hmm maybe we should start a dating site with IE-style vetting and rules

2018-06-21 15:45:16 UTC  

@Zyzz what apps were you using? No one looks for hooks ups on eHarmony. Plus, I make it clear in my profile what I’m seeking.

2018-06-21 15:49:44 UTC  

@TV She may also want to verify that you're a real person. Plenty of fake profiles out there that are used to lure women into unsafe situations. It's a real concern.