Message from @Thomas

Discord ID: 421891129613615105


2018-03-09 19:35:00 UTC  

P R A Y T H E R O S A R Y

2018-03-09 20:46:36 UTC  

fasting

2018-03-09 20:46:42 UTC  

btu its easy because i woke up at 12

2018-03-09 22:49:22 UTC  

Guys convert me to Orthodox Christianity

2018-03-09 22:49:43 UTC  

I want to be able to go to the local Orthodox church and hit on Slav girls

2018-03-10 00:42:40 UTC  

hmm

2018-03-10 00:43:00 UTC  

I mean they pretty based but I believe in purgatory or at least something more than just heaven and hell

2018-03-10 00:43:02 UTC  

just makes sense

2018-03-10 00:43:11 UTC  

why pray for the dead if they have a set fate

2018-03-10 04:42:06 UTC  

Well fellas. I'm still spiritually deaf and blind. Made the decision that fasting wasn't for me. Now I just skip all my meals during the day, and I'm pretty sure that's how I'm going to just live my life. No food during the day, just dinner in the evening.

2018-03-10 04:42:52 UTC  

It gets to a certain point when you scream for God and he doesn't answer that you're more or less just so spiritually and mentally confused that you can't even think straight. I've no righteous clue how to understand.

2018-03-10 04:43:09 UTC  

About ten years of my life, I've asked and pleaded,

2018-03-10 04:43:11 UTC  

through the bible

2018-03-10 04:43:13 UTC  

on my knees,

2018-03-10 04:43:16 UTC  

begging God

2018-03-10 04:43:22 UTC  

to just show me, something,

2018-03-10 04:43:25 UTC  

anything,

2018-03-10 04:43:31 UTC  

to let me know that he was there.

2018-03-10 04:43:42 UTC  

And either I'm blind or he doesn't want me to.

2018-03-10 04:43:59 UTC  

I'm banking on the former, but the latter isn't ruled out of question.

2018-03-10 04:44:43 UTC  

I've recently been asking him what he wants me to do.

2018-03-10 04:44:50 UTC  

I'd do anything

2018-03-10 04:44:53 UTC  

and I mean it

2018-03-10 04:44:55 UTC  

I mean it,

2018-03-10 04:45:00 UTC  

*anything*

2018-03-10 04:45:05 UTC  

to know what he wants me to do.

2018-03-10 04:46:05 UTC  

My mind has become almost numb.

2018-03-10 04:46:12 UTC  

My apathy

2018-03-10 04:46:22 UTC  

is essentially overwhelming me, ironically.

2018-03-10 04:46:48 UTC  

More than anything, I'm just tired.

2018-03-10 04:47:16 UTC  

Mostly tired of the deafening silence that I feel whenever I try to pray.

2018-03-10 04:47:29 UTC  

The complete lack of presence.

2018-03-10 04:47:41 UTC  

I know He's there,

2018-03-10 04:47:44 UTC  

dammit I know.

2018-03-10 04:47:55 UTC  

But I can't hear him,

2018-03-10 04:48:01 UTC  

and I can't see him.

2018-03-10 04:48:07 UTC  

And now I can't even feel him.

2018-03-10 04:50:13 UTC  

I want to make a nation for him, I want to serve him in any way shape or form that he desires me to, I'll go to the ends of the earth, and I will surrender my life *if He'll just. Let. Me. Know.*

2018-03-10 04:50:27 UTC  

But I hear nothing

2018-03-10 04:50:30 UTC  

I see nothing

2018-03-10 04:50:34 UTC  

I feel nothing.