Message from The Eternal Anglo in Nice Respectable People Group #general

2018-08-28 22:19:28 UTC  

Probably a dumb question, but when should I talk to my younger sister about this sort of stuff? She's going into seventh grade this year and is really intelligent for her age.

I guess my worry is that I'll be off at grad school the next couple years and she'll be dating a non-euro by the time I get back.

2018-08-28 22:19:51 UTC  

It's highly unlikely of course, but I just worry

2018-08-28 22:20:39 UTC

By age 46, among those ever married 44.8% are divorced (at least once). Biggest bummer is that for racial categories whites are classified by what we're not, "non-black, non-Hispanic," thus lumping us in with jews, Arabs, Asians, etc.

2018-08-28 22:21:42 UTC  

That is for boomers, obviously, so roughly half of gen X and millennials grew up in broken homes

2018-08-28 22:21:44 UTC  


2018-08-28 22:23:28 UTC  

My main question with that one ^ is how do they define "partners"? Is serial monogamy equated with a one-night stand? Because I'll bet outcomes vary depending on factors like that.

2018-08-28 22:24:21 UTC  

Imo serial monogamy is literally practice for divorce and thus the most dangerous romantic pattern to watch for.

2018-08-28 22:27:40 UTC  

I assume that whether it be monogamous, or Polyamorous, each contributing member would be one partner

I mean, either way it's degenerate to have more than one partner in general, and the goal should always be marriage ๐Ÿ‘

2018-08-28 22:29:19 UTC  

Yea most of us fall short of that unfortunately. Even the good girls and guys are usually around 3 or 4 by the time they get married through dating alone.

2018-08-28 22:30:40 UTC  

I wish I had known this stuff as a kid to be honest

2018-08-28 22:31:07 UTC  

Person A enters marriage having had one sexual partner but 6 monogamous romantic relationships lasting 6 months or more each
Person B enters marriage with 6 sexual partners, one of whom was a monogamous relationship the rest of which were one one-night-stand per year for five years

One has practiced breaking up 6 times, the other only once. Different outcomes are almost guaranteed, no?

2018-08-28 22:31:55 UTC  

Thatโ€™s interesting

2018-08-28 22:32:16 UTC  

There are at least 3 surveys done that show the more sexual partners the more likely the marriage is to fail, and the graph I have defines a stable marriage as only being together 5 years, which isn't long at all

2018-08-28 22:32:20 UTC  

So the serial dater is more likely to divorce than someone who has a bunch of hookups?

2018-08-28 22:32:36 UTC  

@William Russell that's my hypothesis, yes

2018-08-28 22:32:42 UTC  

Makes sense

2018-08-28 22:32:49 UTC  

But I'm sure there's a limit to it

2018-08-28 22:32:57 UTC  

The second person is most likely more intelligent honestly

2018-08-28 22:33:09 UTC  

The T-Swift hypothesis

2018-08-28 22:33:20 UTC  

Hookups could turn into cheating if there were too many before marriage, idk what the threshhold would be

2018-08-28 22:34:01 UTC  

I would assume that sexual promiscuity would have a difference than between purely emotional. non-sexual partners tbh, because the act of intercourse itself is a process that binds two people together. If someone dates 6 people and breaks up with them, and then marries up and has sex with That specific partner, it would be far more serious to that person.
in my opinion of course ๐Ÿ‘

2018-08-28 22:35:05 UTC  

Like metaphorically binds?

2018-08-28 22:35:14 UTC  


2018-08-28 22:35:59 UTC  

Possibly, but also on a biological level as well

2018-08-28 22:36:27 UTC  

We need more studies on this I want to know lol

2018-08-28 22:36:46 UTC  

In some cases the binding might be literal

2018-08-28 22:38:50 UTC  

Biologically I think it makes more sense for people to have multiple sex partners then marry rather than multiple serious relationships then marry. Just because of reproduction. This of course is in the context that everyone has had intercourse with multiple people before marriage. The long term relationships are more likely to lead to children before marriage or stepchildren from other partners

2018-08-28 22:39:13 UTC  

I've never seen evidence that intercourse binds beings biologically if conception does not occur. It's almost impossible to conceive on the first try too (though I'm not arguing in favor of hookups!).

2018-08-28 22:39:35 UTC  

And clearly it doesn't have to bind emotionally either

2018-08-28 22:39:57 UTC  

Conceiving on the first try goes with my point as well.

2018-08-28 22:40:08 UTC  

Is that actually true its harder to concieve the first time you have sex with someone?

2018-08-28 22:40:24 UTC  

Or am I being bamboozled

2018-08-28 22:40:37 UTC  

There are about 3 days per month a woman is fertile. It's a hard target to hit.

2018-08-28 22:41:02 UTC  

It takes 6 months on average to conceive when trying to do so, over age 25

2018-08-28 22:41:31 UTC  

Itโ€™s easier if you try every day ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

2018-08-28 22:41:40 UTC  

*trying without natural family planning methods like temperature charting, etc

2018-08-28 22:44:35 UTC  

I realized when we started trying to get pregnant that I'd really been lied to as a kid in Christian school. The reasons they gave for abstaining were that guaranteed, one of three things would happen: 1. You'll get pregnant 2. You'll get an STD 3. You'll get your heart broken. Turns out, not so much. Better to give kids the truth.

2018-08-28 22:47:30 UTC  

I have 3 daughters with my wife. She got pregnant with the first on our honeymoon, which we took the day after we got married. The 2nd one, she got pregnant within just a couple weeks of me returning from a year in Iraq. The third, she got pregnant with during the week I was home for R&R in the middle of my year in Afghanistan. oooosh

2018-08-28 22:48:25 UTC  

...all 3 born between 2009 and 2012.

2018-08-28 22:48:55 UTC  

Lol her cycle was perfectly aligned with your military schedule eh?

2018-08-28 22:49:07 UTC  

I guess so lol