i was my school's *only* goth girl in the era of the columbine shooting, i know that reaction

naw ace waking up from the brainwashing that we all went through is the 1st step to having a meaningful life

right after it happened the school called my parents and actually told me to stay home

Water under the bridge now. And now, I know better, to a certain degree

lol so we had this Korean kid in my school and he was weird. not in a culture way, just weird. I was friends with him and everyone wanted me to keep him happy cuz the whole school thought he was gonna shoot it up one day

it was a very strange situation

everyone wanted to know about his mood

and nothing was the right answer

all i am hearing is that you feel foolish and have been kicking yourself into a hole over nothing, and convinced yourself to acquire a massive non-customary debt (kids don't usually repay private k-12 education) as a means to make yourself feel better, not actually atone for anything. there isn't anything to atone for

happy. is he happy cuz hes gonna kill us all?
angry: is he pissed at us enough to kill us? that kind of thing

and since false atonement doesn't fill the hole of feeling foolish, you'll never feel better over it

turth

At least if I pay my debt, I can say I owe nothing much more to my parents than what they ask for every now and then. I could do what I will on my own elsewhere and get out of my wasteland state known as Minnesota

(and no i am not making fun of you, this is a stranger being objective with the story given)

may I propose an alternative form of repaying them?

Believe me, I would have left already if reticule was all you'd give me

Did you do something dumb? Yes - teenagers do dumb shit, it's why we don't want to lower the voting age lol

If you wish to paint more white characters on our blackened canvas @Alinpass (INFJ-T)

but on the grand scale of things, that is *nothing* - you need to stop kicking yourself, seriously

dont worry about the k-12 till they retire. then take care of them as they took care of you

^^^^

excellent idea

My parents are nigh on dead and that close to retirement

Probably explains why the doctors said I was an autistic f*ck when I first showed up

i bet a dollar right now Ace's mom is worried that her son is hiding in his room inventing debts and wallowing in depression. You want to repay her for being somewhat difficult as a teenager? Do well for yourself and let her say "My son is *succeeding.*"

any doctor that called my son an autistic fuck would be missing teeth

@Tracey Nah, she's sleeping. And she's usually working on garden projects or watching the ABC news

i don't mean right this second, but overall in general

@Alinpass (INFJ-T) I was speaking more hyperbolic

@Tracey Well, that's still a no

i would bet the dollar part right now were she awale

*awake

just trying to keep the mood light

Believe me, the doctor wouldn't get a happy camper either if he was trying to pull one on my kid, if I had one

moms're weird, i bet you she's noticed

Nope

I can fake a smile

Been doing it for the better part of 10 years now

you still haven't answered my question Ace. if you're serious about making your life better I do have useful advice if you want it?

*Signs dotted line*
Sure

do 1 thing correctly a day. doesn't matter how small. I washed this cup correctly, I made my bed correctly, anything do 1 thing to be proud of/make your life better. everyday no exceptions. that's what I did to get out of the same slump your in now