but IF you want to truly be yourself and be comfortable with yourself, and actually have some true worth that doesn't crumble away to ash and needs to be covered up by various crazy antics

you've got to come to terms with it, and you've got to come to terms with how you are now being bad

bad for you, and bad in general

no excuses

https://twitter.com/KDVR/status/852280750133084160

murica

sometimes you just gotta have that burg

hahahahahaha

wait wait

I think you can do it @Deleted User 57835c2c there are people way worse off than you

I am not certain why what I keep locked up inside needs to change if I can deal with my life as is

then there is no helping you

epsecially since I basically see myself as using revolting tactics as a way to deal with revolting people/situations

I am rewarding like with like

when you make that decision that no, this isn't okay

then there can be some progress down the path I have vaguely lain out

it's your choice

stop thinking about other people

think about yourself

that habit may not be easy to kill

instead of thinking about other people and talking about yourself

do the opposite

if you do choose the double down route, don't think you'll just stay as you are now

you'll get worse

of course "worse" may be a more successful person, who may even be well liked

that's the real choice here, true self vs. false self

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7PZLxYs3x4

Joe was very successful in business. He bragged that his narcissism allowed him to be tough-minded and make the right decisions even when it might be unpopular with his colleagues. He brought the same tough-minded approach to being a husband and father.

this is you

wuzzat from

http://askdrcliff.com/archives/1353

Avoid the Four Horsemen – Learn how to stop Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling.

you've got all 4 in big helpings

yes

the narcissist is stunted in that he doesn't have a clear emotional sense of the other person

like a kid

you can't blame a kid for doing some rude shit or whatever

they don't understand

anyone I behave narcissistically towards, I do not want to empathize with

this is rationalization, that should not be a choice

I decide first that I don't like them, then I stop viewing them as a person