Message from @fallot

Discord ID: 302166224874504193


2017-04-13 19:35:49 UTC  

Avoid the Four Horsemen – Learn how to stop Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling.

2017-04-13 19:35:57 UTC  

you've got all 4 in big helpings

2017-04-13 19:36:47 UTC  

yes

2017-04-13 19:36:47 UTC  

the narcissist is stunted in that he doesn't have a clear emotional sense of the other person

2017-04-13 19:36:54 UTC  

like a kid

2017-04-13 19:37:00 UTC  

you can't blame a kid for doing some rude shit or whatever

2017-04-13 19:37:04 UTC  

they don't understand

2017-04-13 19:37:05 UTC  

anyone I behave narcissistically towards, I do not want to empathize with

2017-04-13 19:37:25 UTC  

this is rationalization, that should not be a choice

2017-04-13 19:37:28 UTC  

I decide first that I don't like them, then I stop viewing them as a person

2017-04-13 19:37:40 UTC  

yeah

2017-04-13 19:37:46 UTC  

I actually feel quite strongly and regularly do things like crying for patients on wards

2017-04-13 19:37:47 UTC  

sounds about right

2017-04-13 19:38:06 UTC  

I don't think I've shed a tear for a human being in my life

2017-04-13 19:39:09 UTC  

and yet I am the crazy narcissist

2017-04-13 19:40:04 UTC  

you're not crazy but yes

2017-04-13 19:40:06 UTC  

that's why I said it

2017-04-13 19:40:16 UTC  

I'm not a normal person, but I don't have a personality disorder

2017-04-13 19:40:29 UTC  

so you cannot simply use such stuff as evidence that you are okay or relatively okay

2017-04-13 19:40:41 UTC  

it is somewhat heartening, but I can't make out the twists and turns in your mind

2017-04-13 19:40:47 UTC  

that led to you crying for a patient on a ward

2017-04-13 19:41:31 UTC  

my instinct is to say it touched your true self, which is childish and hence vulnerable

2017-04-13 19:41:37 UTC  

so you teared up

2017-04-13 19:41:48 UTC  

but I don't know.

2017-04-13 19:42:07 UTC  

that is about right

2017-04-13 19:42:41 UTC  

I think if you were fully mature in yourself, you wouldn't cry either

2017-04-13 19:42:49 UTC  

this child stuff

2017-04-13 19:42:52 UTC  

it can sound like an insult

2017-04-13 19:42:54 UTC  

really, it's not

2017-04-13 19:42:57 UTC  

I hope you understand

2017-04-13 19:43:01 UTC  

it's just what it is

2017-04-13 19:43:06 UTC  

you're not actually a child

2017-04-13 19:43:38 UTC  

for traumatic reasons (likely) your development in a cognitive (I think spiritual) domain has been arrested or curtailed

2017-04-13 19:43:57 UTC  

it's not your fault, but then it is too

2017-04-13 19:43:59 UTC  

because you do have a choice

2017-04-13 19:44:20 UTC  

I need to go do some shopping, be back later

2017-04-13 19:44:40 UTC  

oh one question

2017-04-13 19:44:45 UTC  

how did it feel to cry in that situation

2017-04-13 19:44:56 UTC  

good? bad? confusing? uncontrollable? cathartic?

2017-04-13 19:45:24 UTC  

the best I can say is it felt right and appropriate