That's what happens when you're a failure.

Eh, I'm not much better. In the middle of a disability case over several physical and mental health issues. But the money being used will be to help get me back to work and hopefully back to school over time. I worked consistently from 16-21, it slowed at that point.

Wew lad.

Wha

That sucks, but at least you have a path out.

I would, if I could actually get any effort I put in to succeed. But that never happens.

What's stopping you?

Failure.

Every effort always fails.

No exceptions. It's a trend that's followed me my entire life. Everything only works out just enough to keep me alive and keep me too cowardly to kill myself.

Ouch, I didn't ask to feel

Plus the Mexican Standoff about that with Mother doesn't help anything.

Don't feel then. It's not like it's worth you feeling over.

It's just how things are. That's why I call the world a place of punishment.

Well.. The last medicine combination that a psychiatrist put me on ultimately numbed/dulled everything, including the fear of failing a suicide attempt. Tried, nearly succeeded but of course not quite. They were able to resuscitate. Now the fear is tenfold while everything becomes more miserable and difficult to bear.

Shrinks are all Jews, Marxists or Marxist Jews.

I've been in therapy before, and nothing has helped in any way. No medication ever fixed anything, it just made it more of a monotonous, hopeless grind rather than apocalyptic doom.

Yeah, which is why I haven't returned to one. Been two years or so now

Like I said. This world is a place of punishment.

It'll get better. Has to, right? :^)

No, it doesn't.

And no, it doesn't. It only gets worse. Nothing ever gets better, at least from where I'm standing it doesn't.

Slight sarcasm there..

I figured. It's an automatic response at this point.

Even if someone says something sarcastically, if it makes the Voices scream, it prompts a response.

>Voices

Oh no

What?

Yeah, I have a condition. No, I'm not going to go Dylan Roof, that accomplishes nothing and only furthers suffering.

As long as you're self-aware.

I am. Why else would I say that I'm a loser and failure?

My results speak for me. It's a painful awareness.

I want to hug you, friendo

Don't.

Physical contact is cringe.

It's just another part of the condition.

A place of punishment.

Hmm, no contact at all? That's rough

Well, *physical*

For the most part man, people don't want to have anything to do with me after a certain point. It's just how events play out.

Maybe what I should have said is, "I want to somehow take your pain away"