Message from TheGreatShiniGami in Realism #general
Took a friend to the greyhound station, we were both harassed by security while hoodlums were loitering freely - and loudly at side of the doors, staring down any white folk
Greyhound's always full of them. Just another part of the parcel. The world we live in a is a place of punishment.
Always driven wherever, I'm thankful to never have had to experience a series of public transit. The majority being minorities at that point
The suburban, mostly white communities are great. Businesses stretched for miles, prosperous. Inner STL looks ravaged, buildings vacated, collapsed and/or used for drug houses or squatters, roads barely paved etc etc
It's terrible. I took a trip to Mobile once through Greyhound, since I only got a few days off of work and couldn't travel with the rest of my family.
It's still too close to the Line for me, man.
Anything north of the top of TN is out of bounds for the most part, I don't have much reason to travel there. The expense also hampers it.
The drive -through- TN on highways running East wasn't all that bad. Traveled from here to North Carolina and vice versa several times. Southern IL and KY is questionable.
Still not much reason to go there for me. I'm kind of stuck where I'm at by the way my life turned out.
That's what happens when you're a failure.
Eh, I'm not much better. In the middle of a disability case over several physical and mental health issues. But the money being used will be to help get me back to work and hopefully back to school over time. I worked consistently from 16-21, it slowed at that point.
That sucks, but at least you have a path out.
I would, if I could actually get any effort I put in to succeed. But that never happens.
What's stopping you?
Every effort always fails.
No exceptions. It's a trend that's followed me my entire life. Everything only works out just enough to keep me alive and keep me too cowardly to kill myself.
Ouch, I didn't ask to feel
Plus the Mexican Standoff about that with Mother doesn't help anything.
Don't feel then. It's not like it's worth you feeling over.
It's just how things are. That's why I call the world a place of punishment.
Well.. The last medicine combination that a psychiatrist put me on ultimately numbed/dulled everything, including the fear of failing a suicide attempt. Tried, nearly succeeded but of course not quite. They were able to resuscitate. Now the fear is tenfold while everything becomes more miserable and difficult to bear.
Shrinks are all Jews, Marxists or Marxist Jews.
I've been in therapy before, and nothing has helped in any way. No medication ever fixed anything, it just made it more of a monotonous, hopeless grind rather than apocalyptic doom.
Yeah, which is why I haven't returned to one. Been two years or so now
Like I said. This world is a place of punishment.
It'll get better. Has to, right? :^)
No, it doesn't.
And no, it doesn't. It only gets worse. Nothing ever gets better, at least from where I'm standing it doesn't.
Slight sarcasm there..
I figured. It's an automatic response at this point.
Even if someone says something sarcastically, if it makes the Voices scream, it prompts a response.
Yeah, I have a condition. No, I'm not going to go Dylan Roof, that accomplishes nothing and only furthers suffering.
As long as you're self-aware.
I am. Why else would I say that I'm a loser and failure?
My results speak for me. It's a painful awareness.